to my destiny 💫

014.

[cole's point of view]

my feelings for jackie didn't disappear in one day like i thought they would. instead, i started getting more and more annoyed any time tommy's name even came up in a conversation. alex was right, and i should've just talked to jackie about it, but i didn't, and it was getting too late to do anything but break up with courtney. 

thinking back about it now, i should've just told jackie i still cared about her that night she ran away after i'd gotten mad at her for not speaking to me. i never should have gotten with courtney in the first place. i still remember the first time i met her and everything i was dealing with at the time.

my family had been wandering around at the summer fair in late june, and i kept thinking that i was seeing jackie everywhere. i was ridiculously paranoid. just the week before the fair, i'd been on the chip aisle, and i saw a woosh of dark brown, almost jet black hair behind me out of the corner and i literally gasped out loud. "jackie?" i'd asked. the person turned around, and it was one of the most embarrassing moments of my life because it had been a way, way, way older indian man. he'd looked absolutely nothing like jackie, and i was utterly lovesick.

i was at the fair walking around with parker and isaac when i saw a very pretty girl with bright big eyes and an unforgettable smile, and in that moment, i forgot that jackie had even existed. it erased her in the best possible way. she spotted me staring at her and laughed a little with a very kind wave. i smiled back and walked up and said, "sorry, i didn't mean to stare. i just got caught off guard, i guess. i'm cole. it's nice to meet you."

she smiled back at me warmly and stuck out her hand to shake mine. "it's nice to officially meet you, cole. i'm courtney. who's this?" she asked, looking at parker. "i'm parker. you seem like a cool girl," parker said coolly. i nodded in agreement. "yeah, i have to agree with that. you do seem pretty cool, can i get your number?" courtney nodded with a small smile. "if i can get yours, you can have mine." 

looking back at it now, i wish i'd just not stared. even though what happened between jackie and i sucked, i wasn't anywhere near close to being over her at the time. i honestly don't know if i ever have been. in a way, i was just been using courtney to distract me from thinking about jackie and missing her so much. now that jackie's back and i see her every day again, all of those feelings are just resurfacing again, which means there really is no other thing to do other than break up with courtney...

but i guess i'll have to wait another two weeks until after homecoming so our plans don't get messed up.

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[jackie's point of view]

it's been a week and a half since tommy has asked me to homecoming, and he's been asking to hang out all the time. george and katherine have already both met him. george met him the first time he came over to the house, and he wouldn't let tommy and i be alone. he was extremely over protective, but katherine was sweet to him when she met him the second time he came over. she even let him join us for dinner even though we didn't have much more room at the table.

i'm not sure if i really want a relationship with him because i still kind of have submersed feelings for cole, but maybe it won't matter much longer anymore anyways since he's with courtney. they're so happy that i can't imagine them breaking up anytime soon. i hope they last. courtney has become a really great friend, and cole was already like a... brother... to me before anything happened between us anyways.

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[alex's point of view]

i still wasn't happy about the fact that cole never talked jackie out of going to homecoming with tommy, but there wasn't anything i could do. tommy's been coming to our house 24/7 now. since so many of the others had someone to go to homecoming to go with, i asked kiley to go with me as a friend.

it was kind of unsettling at first because the second i asked she pounced at the opportunity. it's like she's been waiting for me to ask her. i guess she's just really glad to blame her. i don't blame her, because i feel the same exact way. 

i was sitting at the kitchen table finishing a book i was reading when jackie and tommy came in this afternoon. he was twirling around, and she looked extremely happy, maybe even happier than when we were dating. i'm not really sure anymore if that was ever anything. i just hope i can have someone who feels the same way for me that i feel for them one day. 

"hey, alex, we're going to watch a movie with courtney and cole tonight if you and kiley want to join!" jackie said with a warm smile. i smiled and nodded. "sure! i'm sure she'll be out of club by the time we start the movie. oh, what are you guys planning on watching?" jackie looked up at tommy for a response.

he had a weird, crooked, unsettling smile on his face as he gazed down upon her. "the black phone." jackie's eyes widened as she nodded, and i could tell she was nervous about it. horror movies definitely aren't her forte. in all honesty, they aren't really anyone's forte in our family, but i knew kiley would be more than thrilled. i forced a small smile. "i guess we'll join, then. kiley loves those kind of movies."

when kiley came to the house before dinner, she ran to me and threw her arms around my shoulder. "i can't believe you're finally watching a horror movie with me! you're going to love it, alex! it's going to be incredible!" i pulled away quickly from the shock of how she'd addressed me. it's not like we're actually dating, and she's acting like we're official. it's weird. she was never like this before jackie or even before and after i'd dated paige. 

i smiled and nodded. "yeah, i'm sure it'll be... great. let's go inside." her eyes immediately flickered in between cole and courtney standing by the sink and jackie and tommy talking at the kitchen table. "so, they really don't still have feelings for each other anymore?" she whispered, meaning cole and jackie. i shrugged. "cole definitely does. i don't know why he's still dating courtney, but i'm not so sure about jackie. she seems almost... happier than i've ever seen her... when she's with tommy."

"do you still have feelings for her? is that why you're acting so weird about that?" kiley whispered. i shook my head immediately. "no, i don't. i just think it's weird that tommy is the one she's happiest around. he's not a good guy. even cole knows that. i told him to try to get her to stay away from him, but he won't listen. i'm sure you remember how he was in elementary school."

kiley shook her head dimly. "you don't have to remind me. he was so awful to everyone, and don't even get me started on his dad..." 

when tommy was younger, he used to live in silver falls. he was a year younger than cole and danny for a bit, but he got held back in third grade which meant he was in my class. he was super nice to all of us guys for about a week before the stirred utter chaos. he tormented the girls by throwing toads and mud at them and chasing them around the playground to pull on their hair. he was even worse to us guys because he would throw rocks at us, and when some of our parents made him hang out with us on play dates outside of school, he would lock us in our own rooms and mess up everything he could and blame it on whoever his "playmate" was during that time. 

tommy's mother passed when he was little, but his father had been dating my third grade teacher, ms. claire, at the time and visited frequently. ms. claire would leave us on the playground with other teachers to visit with tommy's father. one day, when our class came in from playing at recess, we found ms. claire crying with a fresh, bright red mark of a hand on her cheek. she had very obviously been hurt by tommy's father, and they broke up not long after. tommy's father was the most awful and made ms. claire's life a living hell by making tommy torment her in every possible way at school.

tommy left silver falls after my fourth grade year when his father married a woman named carrie who was pregnant. they moved to the city, and no one ever expected the family to make their way back to silver falls, but they did. i have so many stories about him, and so do cole and danny. 

i don't understand how jackie, who's genuinely a nice person, can date someone so awful and be so happy with him... it just doesn't make sense to me, and i don't understand why cole didn't warn her.

if he is anything like his father, jackie's in for a really rude awakening. i just hope that's not the case.