Lantash

Alone

-Lantash-

As the Tau'ri would say, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! I looked up at Hovar, who was trying to stop the bleeding which is rather impossible as the blade is still in my chest. Pulling it out would only increase the damage.

I try to speak, but cough up blood instead. I'm finally going to die.

I had been asleep, dreaming about the sounds of the Jaffa approaching when suddenly I felt a sharp pain in my chest.

I'm going to die, and a feel of dread washes over.

Hovar looks panicked.

The blade is my own. My host somehow took control while I was asleep. He hit one of his own lungs.

Ow. It hurts so much, and that will be the last thing I feel before I am nothing. Pain, then nothing. That is terrifying. Is this how Jolinar felt before she died?

Hovar still looks panicked.

I look up at him, meet his eyes, and then retreat back into the body.

The pain is less now that I am no longer in control. The host is already far too out of it to realize he finally has been given control. He can't hurt anyone else. Good.

Is there an afterlife? If there is, are Martouf, Jolinar, and Rosha all there waiting for me?

The idea is comforting.

-Guy from Water Source-

I leave my room, deciding to check the reason for Lantash's yell. I approach the room, but then stand there, not wanting to intrude. The second Tok'ra must have heard me because he comes out.

"I heard Lantash," I say.

The deep voice immediately tells me the symbiote is in control. "He is severely injured."

Shocked. How is that possible?

"He is-" the symbiote continues, but I put up a hand to stop him.

"I don't mean disrespect, but it might not be best for every other prisoner to know this and..." How do I put this? "Your voice as the symbiote is rather...loud."

He nods his head and Pary takes control. He is much quieter, so much I must move closer to hear him. "I am afraid Lantash is dying."

"He's injured?" How did that happen? No one here is brave enough to attack him, and injuring the symbiote itself would take skill.

"The host is dying, and will bring Lantash with him."

And given Lantash's reputation, they know that there would be no volunteers for a new host. Except...no, I couldn't...

I glance to the doorway. He's going to die. It wouldn't be right to just let him. It's not like it wouldn't be beneficial. If we try to escape, I'd have more of a chance with him in my head, and that might even give me a place to go afterwards.

But could I really do that?

Pary starts to leave when I speak. "How does one join with a symbiote?"

Pary looked surprised.

"To be more precise, how would I join with Lantash?"

Pary goes through, and gestures for me to follow. "Put your mouth over his. The symbiote will travel mouth to mouth, but Lantash has to be paying attention for this to work. He isn't expecting to rejoin anyone, so he might not. Or he might already be..."

I kneel by Lantash, and put my mouth over his. A few seconds pass, and I wonder if Lantash is already dead. Then the host's hand gently grabs my arm, and I jump slightly. I close my eyes, knowing I might jump again if I see the symbiote coming at me, and jumping away from the person you are about to blend with is probably not the best way to start a relationship.

I feel something crawling through my mouth and then the back of my throat hurts. I start to wince, but then realize I no longer have control.

Lantash.

He gives me control, and starts working on healing my throat. Memories of his life are overwhelming as he shares them. He also speaks on the same time. Thank you for blending with me. I didn't think anyone was going to blend with me. I thought I was going to die, but the comfort was thinking I was going to be with Martouf, Jolinar, and Rosha again. There is also all my other hosts I've lost, and I would see them again. I wonder if I'd be joined with anyone, or live on my own. I don't think I'd want to be on my own. It would be lonely.

As he continues talking, it was that word that struck me. Lonely. It's the reason he's talking so much now. All this time without Elliot, he had a host he couldn't talk to. All the thoughts and feelings he'd normally share were only his alone.

I shake my head slightly as he continues talking non-stop, as he now tells me the details of each and every past host. I decide to sit back and relax as he does. It's going to be a while.