𝘑𝘌 𝘕𝘌 𝘗𝘌𝘜𝘟 𝘗𝘈𝘚 𝘋𝘖𝘙𝘔𝘐𝘙 𝘓𝘈 𝘕𝘜𝘐𝘛, 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘪𝘹

𝘦𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘺 𝘴𝘪𝘹. 八十六 ✩࿐

it's almost hard to imagine things ever going right, when everything at this very point in time was going to absolute shit.

felix couldn't get over the fact that, not that long ago he had: a boyfriend–sort of– and had made new friends. jisung was still his other half and his stupidity hadn't ruined everything.

because thats what he was; stupid.

messaging yeongmin had been the straw that broke the camels back; jisung left him.

when everything happened with changbin, he was hurt in every which way and the pain was unbearable, though when he looks back on it, felix is pretty sure that a small portion of that pain came from the fact that changbin is yeongmins brother. deja vu and all that.

but this hurt way fucking more.

jisung was jisung: other half, soulmate, twin star, so on and so forth. losing jisung was like losing part of his being, the pain he felt was similar to that of being torn in two.

nothing felt right. time seemed slower, the surrounding air felt heavy and blue. his centre of gravity felt off—felix wasn't that much of a clumsy person but now, it was like he had two left feet.

he felt out of body, like he wasn't in his own skin; inhabiting another human.

in short, he felt broken, hollow, depressed and every other word used to describe feeling down and shitty.

sure he and jisung had faught before; disagreements that were bordering brutal, but they always made up in the end. they always apologised after and allowed dust to settle.

though it seemed jisung didn't want the dust to settle this time round. though, maybe thats because he has come to realise how much of a dumbass felix truly is.

he desperately wanted to message jisung and beg him for forgiveness; plead to be taken back. he knew it would be fruitless, jisung would just ghost him but, that didn't mean he wasn't holding himself back from doing so.

of course there was always the option of messaging minho and asking him how jisung is, but that just felt somewhat wrong in a way, like he was going behind jisungs back.

you don't go behind your friends back.

were they even still friends?

oh god, he was spiraling.

maybe he should be the one to message jisung first, though there was always the possibility that jisung would block him on the spot if he tried that.

oh shit, was he blocked?

'good googly moogly that thing is juicy'

"who the fuck is calling me?"

not even bothering to check the caller id, felix pressed the side button to silence the call.

it was fruitless though.

'good googly moogly that thing is juicy'

"just fuck off."

side button.

'good googly moogly that thing is juicy'

side button.

'good googly moogly that thing is juicy'

"fucking fine then!"

answering the phone in anger, felix missed the caller id.

"what?"

"felix?"

you're fucking kidding.

"what do you want, changbin?"