Chapter-29: The Maya Smile.

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10 years ago...

Akshay, feeling down after being unable to contact Maya for weeks, sits by his father, laying his head on the handrest of the couch.

"Now, now. What happened to my little boy?" Nishant asks, patting Akshay's head gently.

"Dad, I am not a little boy." Akshay reminds him and goes back to his sulking.

"Okayyyy." Akshay remains silent for about a minute before he opens his mouth to address his worries.

"Dad, why can't I meet Maya? Why doesn't she want to see me? Did I do something wrong?" Maya had been his best friend all his life until he started seeing her as more than a friend but was too scared to label his feelings. He thought she felt the same with how every time he talked to her, her eyes would shine at him with admiration and how she used to hold on to every word he said, but suddenly a few weeks ago, he went to see her but she screamed at him to leave her alone. It was not like Maya at all to express her feelings through anger. He came back home with tears in his eyes that refused to leave his eyes or disappear altogether. He didn't understand what he did to anger her like that, but it hurt. It hurts so much.

"Beta, you didn't do anything wrong. I talked to Abhir Uncle. Right now, Maya is not in a good place. She is sad and needs some time alone. Once she feels better, you can go and talk to her. Okay?" Akshay just nods his head but he has a different plan going in his head. 

At night, Akshay slowly slips out of his room and tiptoes to the main door. He carefully blocks the door without making a sound and closes it behind him as he walks into their backyard. He jumps over the fence between their house and Maya's. He starts walking to the main door but then changes his tracks, walking towards the side of the house. He latches on to the pipe, climbs halfway and jumps onto the railing of Maya's balcony. He enters her balcony and knocks on her door. With each passing second, his confidence in his idea to come here diminished but he can't let his resolve crumble now. Maya needs him, he said to himself. But he knew that he was the one who needed Maya. Maya pushes the curtains aside. Her cautious eyes widen at finding Akshay on the other side. She opens the door and he walks into her room, taking each step carefully.

"What are you doing here, AK?" Akshay avoids her eyes. He managed to come here but now, has no idea how to say what he wants to say. "Look in my eyes." He locks his eyes with Maya and freezes. Maya's indifferent expression breaks his resolve and makes him doubt his actions. She was never like this before. the girl he knew used to always smile at him for no reason. She used to blush every time he complimented her and used to shy away every time they barely touched. Her smiles used to be so bright that it felt like there was no better source of light in the world. How come she looks like barren land now? Where is that girl who always stuck to my side? The girls who believed I was the solution for all her problems.

"For you." He said, in a trance.

"What? Why did you come here?" She says in a tone that doesn't sound like Maya at all.

"I came here for you." 

"Why?"

"Because Mom said you are sad."

"What?" She snaps. "What does it matter to you?" It shouldn't matter, but it does. Maya, whatever she is to him, is still his childhood friend. Now, she seemed to be more than just that.

"It matters because you matter. You are my... best friend." He finishes.

"So?" Maya looked like she was barely holding in.

"So I have to be here, with you."

"I don't need you." She says, but her voice breaks and that is an indication that she's lying. He finally sees a crack in her indifference and he can feel his old Maya peeking through the crack.

"I need you and you can't be sad alone. You won't be sad alone because I am still here. Right in front of you."

What 15-year-old Akshay said out of his pure urge that day served as the last straw for Maya as she broke down in front of him. Akshay watched as a single tear slid across her cheek and fell to the ground. She walked into his arms, defeated. He hugged her right back, feeling all her pain yet not quite understanding it. They both held onto each other as they slid to the ground. Maya's whimpers turned into small sobs as tears kept falling. He gently caressed her hair. They stayed there for a while, with no words said. There was a lot to be said but they both knew they didn't have to utter a word. They can feel their emotions to their fullest in silence when they are with each other. That right there was what love felt like, Akshay thought. At that moment, he knew he found his safe place in the world and from that moment, he decided that he would become hers.

***

Present...

Akshay walks on the bridge, his mind flooded with thoughts and doubts, as he blindly clicks pictures. His lens pan on Maya, who was sitting cross-legged on a huge rock by the shore. With her sunglasses on she looked so chill at the moment. He takes a picture of her as she flips her hair back. It reminded him of that night 10 years ago, He sneaked into her room and held onto her as she bled her pain out.

"It's all going to be okay, Mayu," Akshay said to Maya who was still buried in his arms. Maya looked up at him with watery eyes and he smiled at her. "I will make everything right."

"Hmmm." She nods.

"Come here." Akshay took her hand and took her upstairs through the attic and to the roof. They sat down on the roof, Akshay with his legs splayed out and Maya with hers crossed. They looked at the beautiful night sky in silence. After what felt like an hour, Akshay broke the silence.

"Can I know what happened?" Akshay doesn't expect Maya to actually say anything but she starts her story with their parent's love story and goes on the whole night telling him about their memories, her mother's loss, her father's pain, her own loneliness and their incomplete family.

"After everything, I still don't get it. My mom wrote in her diary that it was all worth it. How is it possible? Why was she willing to go through all of that, even for Dad?"

"Maybe it was worth it because she had Uncle, your elder brother, Aditya and you. A great pain is endured for a greater happiness and a greater pain is endured only for the greatest of joys."

"I would never want a love where I have to endure such pain."

"You will never have to. You have me." She looked at Akshay with a weird look in her eyes as she scooted closer.

"For life?" When she asked that, Akshay held his breath. Does it mean what he thinks it means?

"For life." He says without hesitation. Maya interlinks their hands, lays her head on his shoulder and smiles her smile. The Maya smile.

"We will be best friends for life. No marriage, no love. Just happiness and joy." Time stops as Akshay finally realises what Maya meant. He fists his hand as he holds the flooding feelings inside. He took each breath with care as his 16-year-old self had his heart broken in silence. He knew Maya was not the girl he could have young love with. He promised himself that he would build back his old Maya and until then he would remain her best friend. 

From that day, whenever she needed her best friend, he killed his love to stay by her side. She needed his friendship more than his love, she needed support more than a teenage boy's heart. He bitterly smiles at the girl he failed to forget as he lifts his camera to click another photo. He chained his love with so many shackles that it is bruised beyond recognition now, but still, it refused to stop its fight for freedom. From that night he stayed by her side as he grew alone himself. His 16-year-old self might hate him for it, but he told himself that it would all be worth it. For that smile. The Maya smile.

He takes another photo of her. Just one more photo added to 10 years of his collection. A room full of her smiles, a heart full of her presence but it was never enough, was it?

***

Sorry, this chapter doesn't move forward in the present. I felt like it was important to know and understand Akshay's love for Maya better. Going forward it's important to understand his perspective. Small changes are made to the cover, hope you like it.

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