Fórëlskët

XXXVII

Namjoon's POV. -

I sighed while playing with the paperweight. I don't know how I am living my past days. My eyes are on the papers but my whole attention is somewhere else. It's always with her.

When I left that day, I left my heart with her. I can feel it. I haven't heard my heart beating since then. Every time my phone buzzes, I feel hesitant to look at it. Because I know it must be her message. She has called me numerous times but I didn't answer. But she didn't give up. She has not missed a single good morning and good night text. And even added some extra words to encourage me. I read everything but couldn't reply to her.

And now everything was getting over my head. My body feels numb. The urge to hear her voice made my heart ache. I haven't heard her giggles and teasing words. My life feels empty.

I don't know what will be the outcome of this, but one thing I realised is that I've fallen for her. Very hard.

I sighed again and laid my head back on the chair. Tomorrow is her birthday. I had prepared so many things. But there are still two more days to finish the 7 days. I can't believe I'm following this stupid rule. And it clearly means that I'm missing her birthday.

"Argh!!!"

I groaned and held my head. It was late evening. I was still sitting in my office room. I have no energy to do anything. I just want to hold her in my arms and embrace her warmth. It feels so empty without her. I want to kiss her and whisper to her how much she means to me. I want to show her how much I love her. I want to hold her in my arms for the whole night until she falls asleep.

I just want to be with her.

I wonder what she must be doing. She has been messaging me all the while. She told me every small detail of her day. When she goes I college, when she comes back, what she cooked, how she feels, what painting she made, everything. And I'm being a jerk, didn't even reply to her text.

I should not have agreed to this.

I scratched and shook my head before standing up from the chair. I took my coat and left the office. Driving back, I reached home. The lights were off which means everyone was asleep. I sighed and started to walk towards my room but my steps halted when I saw the lights turning on. I squinted my eyes and turned around to find Mom standing near the stairs. I smiled weakly making her walk towards me with a worried look.

"Namjoon, why are so late? Was there something important?"

She asked making me nod lightly. She cupped my cheek to make me look at her.

"Something happened?"

She asked with a soft voice. I just smiled a little and shook my head trying to convince her.

"You are coming home late, not eating your meals on time and even haven't slept well. I know there's something wrong. And as a mother, I can guess that it's about Y/N."

She said making me raise my eyes and blink. She smiled seeing my wide eyes and caressed my shoulder.

"It's okay to have difficulties in a relationship. But don't let them make a crack. She's far from you. She must be feeling scared and alone. If something happens, try to understand her. Don't hurt her. A heart is very hard to heal again once it is shattered."

Her words made me inhale deeply and hug her. She patted my back and I felt a little calm after such a long time. I stayed like that for a moment before getting away. She smiled and kissed my forehead before wishing me good night. I came back to my room and laid on the bed.

Her smiling face was roaming in front of my eyes. The day when I last saw her, she was glowing differently. The way she kissed me and hugged me, I felt fear in her. She was afraid to let go of me. Honestly, I was more afraid, because I didn't know if I'd be able to hold her again.