The Astronomy Tower - A Drarry Fanfiction

Chapter 8: Again?

Harry POV:

~the next morning~

The next morning I wake up, still in Draco's arms, after hearing Blaise coming into the room. I look around grab my glasses and Draco wakes up too after I sat up. He looks at me sleepy and says:
"what's going on?"
"Blaise is here and we have to get to breakfast"
He turns to Blaise and says:
"hey Blaise"
"hey Dray, well done": Blaise answers pointing at me, I just look confused at Draco and stand up to get dressed. Dray that's a good nickname, I'm gonna remember that.
As I get ready, Draco does too and 20 minutes later we go into the great hall for breakfast. Draco sits with Blaise at the Slytherin table and I go to Ron and Hermione at the Gryffindor table. As I sit down, Ron says:
"where were you last night, Harry?"
"why?"
"because you weren't in our room and you just walked in here with Malfoy"
"uhmm I slept over at his, after we played spin the bottle, I stayed there remember?"
"Oh right"
After that I just eat and Ron talks to Hermione about something like hating to have to get to class today or so. I don't really catch what their talking about cause I'm looking at Draco who's talking to Blaise. What is this now? He likes me, I like him. We had amazing sex and now what? We're not friends that's for sure but enemies neither, he kissed me yesterday just because I had a panic attack who the fuck does that.
10 minutes later, Hermione snaps in front of my face to get my attention. I look at her annoyed and she says:
"stop staring at Draco and go to class"
I roll my eyes and stand up with both of them, walking to the potions lab. After a few minutes I hear Draco and Blaise behind us talking about something. As we get to the lab, and I'm about to sit down next to Ron, Professor Slughorn says that he changed the seats and that I'm now sitting next to Draco. I feel like I explode out of excitement but on the outside I just keep it casual and sit down next to Draco. He smiles at me and Slughorn starts to explain the project:
"For this potion, I partnered one excellent student and one that needs a bit help, because this potion is not so easy to do. It is called Draught of Peace. If you mess it up by forgetting to add an ingredient, it will put the drinker into an irreversible sleep, and if you add too much of one ingredient the pot will explode, so please be careful and don't mess it up"
When Slughorn said he partnered one excellent and one student that needs help, I knew that I am the one needing help cause Draco is like amazing in potions. I mean he's always amazing but...
Anyway during Slughorns explanation of the potion, I kept feeling Dracos judging look on me which is justified cause I suck at doing potions. Considering this he says:
"I love you and all but if you mess that up, you're not welcome in my room for the next day"
"that's mean, you know I suck at potions"
"I know that's why I'm telling you this. Now just start cutting the ingredients we need"
I roll my eyes at him and do as he says while he's putting the liquid ingredients into the pot. 10 minutes later I'm finished and about to pour the ingredients into the pot when Draco stops me saying:
"Harry stop, You can't put everything in it at once you need to put every ingredient in the pot by itself. Didn't you read the recipe?"
"no, that is your job, to teach me how to do that"
"it's not, my job is to prevent us from getting blown up"
"fine, then do it"
"thank you": he says while grabbing the ingredients one by one. At first the potion looks good but after a few minutes it does blow up and Draco pulls me under the desk.
"Mister Potter and Mister Malfoy what did you do now?": Slughorn says to us angry after seeing that we blew up the pot. Now everyone in the class is looking at us as we get up from under the desk and Draco says:
"Sorry Sir we added a bit too much of the syrup of hellebore"
"ok clean that mess up"
"yes sir": we both say.
I look at Draco who looks kinda pissed. I mean it was funny but I'm kinda pissed too like it was going so well and then it just blew up.
Anyway we clean the mess and the lesson is over but Slughorn wants to speak with both of us after the lesson, so we stay there.
After everyone else went to lunch, Slughorn says:
"Mister Potter and Mister Malfoy I need you two to come here tomorrow and finish the potion as a homework because you didn't finish it in class. And as your punishment you two are going to write an essay about how to properly work in class"
"Yes sir": we both say at the same time.
"Ok right go to Lunch now"
We nod and leave the classroom. As we walk into the corridor, I notice Draco checking if anybody is here but there isn't. I look confused at him but he just pushes me at the nearest wall and is now so freaking close to me, I feel my heart beating like crazy.
He places his hands next to my head and now I can't get away from him. I mean I don't even want to, I just wanna kiss him, so I look at his eyes and then his lips and eyes and lips again.
Draco obviously notices my look and comes closer.
My heart is pounding more and more and I'm just waiting for a kiss now but Draco doesn't kiss me, instead he just leaves, smiling to himself.
I stand there for a few more minutes to realise what the fuck just happened. Like why would he come so close but does nothing? I'm still fucking flustered from his action but when I'm back to being normal, I leave too.
I walk into the great hall when I see Draco smiling after looking at me. That prick why would he torture me like that? He knows I like him and then..
I try to act as normal as possible when I sit down next to Ron who is already looking sceptical at me. He then asks:
"why did it take you so long to get here. Even Malfoy was faster and you two left the classroom at the same time"
"his fault, he tortured me" that came out wrong.
"what?": Hermione asks shocked.
"not like that, my feelings"
Now they're both confused and I just ignore it and look over to Draco who is smiling to himself probably about what he just did. Hermione snaps in front of me to get my attention and asks:
"first of all stop staring at Draco, you weirdo and second what do you mean your feelings"
"forget it, it's nothing"
"it can't be nothing when you're staring at Draco and he at you, smiling"
"let me rephrase that it's none of your business"
With that saying I leave the table, without eating anything, and go..I don't know where, somewhere. My next class starts in one hour so I decide to go to the astronomy tower again.
Last time I was up here, I wanted to kill myself but now it's just to enjoy the peace and quiet. Well after a few minutes of just sitting up here, another person is coming. I quickly pull out my wand as protection but it's just Draco so I put it back. He looks at me scared as he walks towards me. I mean I can understand, last time he was here with me he prevented me from jumping down so. He sits down next to me and asks:
"what are you doing up here again?"
"just thinking and you?"
"following you, I was scared that you, you know wanna jump again, so I followed you"
"oh"
We sit in silence when I suddenly remember what he just did to me after class. I look at him and say:
"what was that after potions class?"
"what was what": he says giggling
"you know what"
"why did I fluster you, Potter?"
"uhmm *I blush* maybe"
"I know I did, you don't have to blush"
I laugh nervously and stand up to go to the railing. Draco stands up too but quicker and way more scared than he was before. I turn to him and ask:
"what is that between you and me?"
"I don't know": he says while looking down nervously.
We stand there in silence for about 5 minutes when I say:
"what if I would have jumped, I mean I could have done it easy. Not that hard to be honest, I tried before"
I don't know why I tell him that, maybe because I'm depressed and lonely and don't eat or something but I did ask..
He looks at me like I'm about to kill myself any moment and says:
"why Harry?"
"why what?"
"why do you hate yourself so much that you think about jumping down here?"
"because I- I just do ok.. Everyone in my house made me feel like shit when I was I dunno 5 and now I have two friends that don't even know what I'm going through and you"
I can feel that I get more and more angry while I'm telling him this. I don't know why I'm telling Draco Malfoy this and not even my own friends but I did.
Draco just looks at me sad and confused and like he doesn't know what to do or say, so he doesn't say anything and I start talking again.
"why Draco why? why do you care about me? I'm shit I'm a horrible person I let people die just because I didn't sacrifice myself, I can't even eat like a normal person anymore. I can't even control my own actions like I *I show him my arm* I hurt myself because I hurt every single one around me"
I start to cry and Draco says with a sad voice:
"Harry calm down, it's ok, you're perfect just the way you are"
He gestures a hug but I just push him away and say angry:
"just leave me alone. I don't fucking understand why you're so nice to me all of a sudden. WHY DRACO WHY? WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LET ME DIE?"
"because I love you Harry and if you don't get away from that railing I will get you away from that if you want or not" Now he's getting angry which makes me even more angry and fussy. I don't listen to him and stay in front of the railing. He walks towards me and says angry:
"Stop being suicidal, Harry. Don't jump"
"I'M NOT GONNA JUMP YOU IDIOT AND I'M NOT SUICIDAL"
"yes you are Harry"
I'm so angry at him at me, especially at me and say nothing to him anymore when I notice that my wand is gone. I look at the place where we sat earlier and back at Draco who's holding MY wand in one hand.
"why do you have my wand Malfoy?": I say in an angry tone
He looks down at his hand and says nothings. He just looks back at me scared. I just shake my head over and over again and ask him:
"when are you gonna stop suggesting, I'm suicidal?", after remembering what he said earlier ("Stop being suicidal, Harry. Don't jump" [...] "yes you are Harry") .
"when you start acting like somebody that wants to be alive"
"give me my wand"
"why?"
"because I'm not suicidal and if they say that then they're wrong"
"what happened last time up here?"
"I almost jumped.. you think I did that for kicks?"
"you went alone and if I hadn't got here, you would be dead"
"I was not going to jump"
"why is it that you tried to then? you know people run away from this line between life and death, you seem to stand on it and wait for a strong wave to sway you one way or the other. *he is getting more and more angry* you're careless with your lifestyle probably because your uncle told you you were a waste of space. The problem is you believed him and if you don't watch out one of these days you're gonna die because of it.."
"Fine than I'm gonna die who cares anyway?" Now I get angry too.
Draco just looks at me sad and angry and says after a few minutes:
"I care Harry! Hermione and Ron care. A lot of people care about you, Harry"
"No, no they care about the version of me I created for social interactions. They don't care about the real me, the me who self harms, doesn't eat or doesn't trust anyone around him or has suicidal thoughts. Nope they care about the me, who's the hero of the wizarding world, who defeated Voldemort, who has a tone of friends,who hates the Slytherins. BUT Draco that's not me *I start to cry* that is not me, I don't hate the Slytherins, I love one and I don't have a tone of friends, they're all with me because they're in my house but that's it, I'm not like that.."
"Oh Harry, I'm so sorry."
Draco pulls me into a hug and this time, I let him, it's nice. I don't know why I told him all that or why he just accepted it but that's not important.
20 minutes later Draco holds me on my shoulders and I look into his beautiful grey eyes, when he says:
"Harry can I ask you something?"
"mhm": I nod
"you said that you don't trust anyone around you, then why do you tell me all that?"
He looks me in the eyes and expects an answer but I don't know an answer. I don't know why I told him that, I don't know why I trust him but not my best friends. And that's what I answer him:
"I don't know, I just trust you, I guess...is that bad?"
"it's not Harry, it's good that you have someone you can talk to"
We hug again and after 10 minutes of just standing and hugging Draco says:
"we missed class"
"oh sorry"
"it's ok, it was just muggle class"
"ok, that's not bad"
As Draco holds me I feel warm but after a while I'm freezing up here cause it's literally February and it's so cold. It seems like Draco knows that I'm cold cause he says:
"Harry let's go down"
I nod and we go down into the corridor. We hold hands and continue to walk like this into the room of requirements. It's cozy in here, it kinda looks like a mix of both of our houses. There is a fire place, sofas, a bed and a table with chairs around it. We sit down on the sofa in front of the fireplace and stay there, cuddling with each other.

Meanwhile Ron and Hermione in class after Lunch: (writers POV)

"where are Harry and Draco?": Hermione asks Ron.
"I don't know, it's weird"
"yeah they've been spending a lot of time together lately"
"yeah and Harry won't even talk to us about it"
"I mean I can understand that he doesn't wanna talk to us about his love life but it's weird that he isn't in class now"
"yeah": Ron says
They quiet down after the professor told them too. The lesson continues and Harry and Draco don't show up.
After class Ron and Hermione decide to search them with the marauders map.
They go into the Gryffindor tower to get the map and follow Draco and Harry's steps from the astronomy, into the corridor and lastly...their steps are gone. Harry and Draco are not shown on the map anymore, so Hermione asks:
"where are they, the map isn't showing it?"
"In the room of requirements you said it isn't shown in the map, after we first kissed remember?"
"yeah right, let's go"
They continue their search to the room of requirements where Draco and Harry sleep on the sofa in front of the fireplace. Ron and Hermione notice them after they get inside and stand still when they see that they're sleeping. They decide to let them alone when Harry wakes up:
"What are you two doing here?"
Draco wakes up too and looks at Harry confused.
Hermione answers Harry: "we were looking for you two, you didn't show up to class"
"Oh yeah": Harry answers.
Draco still looks at Harry when he says:
"we should go"
Harry nods and Ron, Hermione and Drarry leave the room of requirements.