4 - The bathroom

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We're dismissed for lunch and I'm whisked away down the corridor along with the herd of hungry freshmen filing out of the stuffy room. I let my hands grasp the straps of my backpack, hanging back to let the crowd disperse before I continue my journey to the cafeteria. Loud chatter fills my ears like air pollution, slotting my headphones over my ears to drown it out.

I find my usual stop at the 'non-clique' table, filled with the outcasts who don't have a specific category to fit into. I put my bag down beside me, hitting the floor with a dull 'thud', tugging out my bagged sandwich I had made this morning.

A presence is felt beside me, turning my head to see Janis sliding onto the bench beside me, red hair telling me Cady had tagged along too. Large hands grasping my shoulders squeeze softly and I don't need to turn around to know it's Damian. "Girl, you know you're always welcome to sit with us."

I sigh, swallowing my mouthful of sandwich. "I know, I know, it sometimes feels easier by myself."

"Don't," he pauses, offering me a look with a raised hand. His other hand is then clasping around my wrist and he's beginning to pull me up from the bench, "come on." Cady picks up my bag in our wake and I send her a grateful smile.

Upon reaching their table, we're all immersed in a light chatter, mostly Damian leading the conversation as he talks us through various college gossip he had overheard that seems to interest Janis and Cady. I'm presuming it's to do with people from their high school, but I don't pay much attention as I continue eating my lunch.

"I'm going to the bathroom." I inform them quietly, sliding out of my seat and heading in the direction of the nearest bathroom I had passed on my way to the cafeteria earlier.

The bathroom stall is grimy and dirty. I'm about to slide the lock off the door when I hear the main door open, and chatter fills up the small vicinity. Blood drains from my face.

Heart pounding, my fight or flight mode activates itself and I dash out of the stall, unbeknownst to how long the group of girls will be lingering in the bathroom for. My breath catches in my throat when I realise who it is exactly. The plastics. Or rather, ex-plastics, now. Even though the clique issue was only resolved for the remainder of their junior and senior years, or so I was told.

I'm faced with three sets of hair, the blonde halo of beach waves in the middle of the trio standing out the most to me. They're hovered around the basins, inspecting their faces in the large mirror adorning the entire half wall. I try to silently trudge my way over to the last remaining sink in the left hand corner, when three pairs of eyes are on me, hands stilling their movements of various makeup brushes and tubes in their hands. I would've laughed at how comedic it looked if I wasn't so damn intimidated.

Ducking my head, I decide remaining invisible like usual would be my best escape plan, switching on the tap and quickly washing my hands, eyes laser focused on the way the soapy water swirls down the drain.

"Who are you and why don't I know you?" Regina's voice is like silken honey, and I become alarmingly addicted.

"I'm new," I say quietly, keeping my now soap-free hands soaking under the water to give myself a distraction.

"Oh," it isn't deflated, rather a noise of recognition.

I risk a glance in their direction, the atmosphere having gone painfully quiet and my fingers will start to prune soon enough. Gretchen is leant close to Regina's ear, quietly whispering something I can't make out. Karen stands closest to me, large brown eyes softening as all she does is blatantly stare at me, smile plastered over her face. I offer her a sheepish smile in return and turn the tap off.

Karen is being nudged out the way by Regina, now standing extremely close to me. I let my heels take me back a subtle pace, suddenly overwhelmed by her presence. Hands find her hips but I don't let my eyes wander, I keep them on the floor.

"Cady's cousin, is that right?" She hums and I just nod. The attention disturbs me, grinds at my bones and tugs a ball of nausea to form in my throat. Before I can blink, pink manicured nails are tapping under my chin, fingertips smooth and soft. She lifts my chin up, my eyes unwillingly meeting hers as I cower under her dark gaze. "Look at me when I'm speaking to you," she snaps, eyebrows taut before her hand is falling down to her hip again. "Whatever bullshit they've been feeding you about the past few years, don't believe them."

Confusion clouds my senses, questions running rampant around my head as I think back to all the things Damian, Janis and partially Cady, had caught me up on about their junior year. I let my eyes trace Regina's neck quickly before going back to her stoney eyes. "So you didn't get hit by a bus?" I ask rather innocently, nerves washing over me as soon as the question falls from my mouth.

Karen starts laughing. Loudly. Unabashedly. "Oh, no," Karen pauses briefly, "that part is true."

"Karen," Regina's head whips in her direction, tone cutting through the air sharper than a knife. "Go and fix your lipstick."

Obeying, Karen turns away and joins Gretchen at the other side of the basin, sharing the mirror between them as they respectively touch up their already perfect makeup.

Upon finishing rolling her eyes at her friends, Regina turns her full attention back to me.

"I'm so sorry that was so insensitive I-" she cuts me off with a singular finger poised in the air.

"It's fine, I'm over it now." Her hands reach up to twirl with the ends of her curly hair. "I meant about other things." She says as if it's obvious exactly what she's implying. I try and disguise the look of pure bewilderment on my face. Silence spreads between us, myself unable to breathe under her striking eyes. The only noise comes from the barely audible squabbles from Gretchen and Karen a few feet away from us."You can leave now." She huffs, now suddenly bored by my presence.

Immediately, I dry my hands with some paper towels and exit the bathroom.

What the fuck.

"You look like you've seen a ghost." Janis comments as soon as I bring my startled self back to the table and settle down in my place. "Did you get cornered in the bathroom by the plastics?" Janis' eyes widen in pure horror at her own concept in her question.

I chew my lower lip and force my head to nod, twisting the packet of chips around in my hand before opening them and shoving a few into my mouth.

"It happens to the best of us," she sighs and pats my arm reassuringly, turning back to her food.

"It's happened to you before?" I ask, brows drawing together. I didn't want to seem too naive with the fact that I know they have a past, but not to the extent of what that specifically entailed.

"Well no, not exactly." She huffs and turns to me, pointing her mash-covered fork in my direction before stating, "I was trying to make you feel better."

Though, it definitely doesn't aid me in that sense. I'm left silently replaying the interaction over and over again until the recollection of the conversation becomes blurred and the words turn into gibberish. Instead, I find myself tuning into the trio's conversation, pitching in my advice on what Damian should do as he hadn't realised taking drama would involve having to do periodic written assessments, and apparently he has one immediately after lunch.

Next update: Sunday

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