Epilogue: quiet my fears with the touch of your hand

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January 3, 1819 – Y/N

A happy new year indeed! I missed you all terribly during the holiday season this year, but John and I had a wonderful time here in Scotland with Michael. It snowed beautifully on Christmas Day, and it made me think of all of you and our often violent snowball fights on your birthday.

In fact, I believe this letter should reach you at around that time, so I am sending you the brightest of birthday wishes as well! While I won't be able to attend your celebration this year, seeing how we'll still be at Kilmartin House, I am sending you a wonderfully tight hug and hoping your day is incredibly special. Hit one of my siblings with a snowball for me, please! Preferably one of the boys, but really anyone will do.

Love from your sister, Francesca

You squinted your eyes in your dimly candlelit bedroom, unsuccessfully attempting to undo the tiny buttons on your dress. Perhaps it was the undercurrent of nervousness that had been moving through you the whole day, but you found your fingers were shaking so much that you couldn't hold them still for long enough to unclasp the buttons on your back. A deep sigh escaped your lips as you accepted that you were simply not going to be able to do this by yourself, and you gripped the edge of the chest of drawers in front of you as you willed your voice to come out sounding more carefree than you were feeling at the moment.

"Ben, darling, are you still upset about earlier?" you called across the room.

A small huff escaped his lips as he shifted on an armchair in the corner, murmuring something about betrayal and honor without looking up from his book. You smiled and held back a laugh, anxieties momentarily soothed. Per Francesca's request, you had hit Benedict less-than-gently in the chest with a tightly packed snowball during your annual snowball fight earlier today, and he had taken it quite to heart. Well, that and the fact that you had sneakily teamed up with Hyacinth and Gregory without telling him. It really wasn't your fault, you reasoned. Benedict had thought you would go easy on him simply because you were married to him, which, of course, was a foolish thing to think. Though he wasn't as competitive as you were, evident in your much more successful Pall Mall record, you knew today's loss still stung.

"Well, do you think could find it in you to help me with my dress?" you raised your eyebrows pointedly. "Or are you still feeling too betrayed?"

He immediately looked to meet your eyes, grudge completely forgotten as he nodded excitedly and rushed over to you from the armchair he had previously been sitting in. It was rather endearing that Ben was still giddy every time you asked for his help undressing, even after four years of marriage.

After a few moments of Benedict concentrating intensely on the buttons on your back, you teased, "Are you enjoying yourself?"

He hummed in assent and smiled at you, meeting your eyes in the mirror. "Oh, immensely. It certainly makes up for earlier, I think," he winked as he fiddled with the buttons.

Honestly, you were inclined to think that Benedict had been secretly asking your seamstress to make the buttons smaller on each new dress she made you so you would have no option but to ask for his help. Even so, you wouldn't have minded. You, too, enjoyed his sturdy hands on your back, his deft fingers fiddling with your dress and his lips softly kissing your shoulders as you told him about your day.

"A well-deserved win today, Mrs Bridgerton," he said, never quite growing tired of how sweet the title sounded coming from his mouth. "And on your birthday no less. A stellar performance. I suppose I'll have to start recruiting Simon and Daphne's children to help me against the lot of you from now on. And then when we have ones of our own I can form a small army and I will never lose again."

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