Quiet Tension

Official

Dinner that evening is at a little pizza place off-base. Everyone shows up in a great mood, despite the start of the week.

"To our newest couple!" Soap says, toasting the air with his beer.

Flora toasts with her Diet Coke, Simon with his beer, and König and Farah with their Sprites.

"Couple?" I whisper to Simon a few moments later, once the conversation has turned to which pizzas they want to order.

"Let's talk later," he says, a knowing smirk on his face before chiming in with his order.

Dinner literally seems to scrape by. My heart is beating so rapidly in my chest about the impending conversation that I can hear nothing else other than its beat, and I feel sick and barely touch my pizza.

Simon notices, of course, as he does with everything - nothing gets past those brown eyes. As I'm stirring my straw in my Coke, he places a hand on the knee I didn't realize was bouncing. "You okay?" he whispers over the loud laughs of the group.

I zone back in immediately, smiling up at him. "Of course," I say, reaching for my pizza and taking a bite to convince him. It does the trick, though I have to offer a few more smiles and contributing words to the conversation for him to finally take his eyes off of me.

The truth is, my cold-seeming heart is actually an absolute sucker for romance. Because, the truth is, since Simon looked at me in that way at our fancy dinner, I have already been planning our whole lives together. The dress I want to wear when he proposes, the venue for our wedding, if we will live at his or mine, if we want kids - the whole weight of any potential one-sided-ness hits me in the chest, making breathing limited.

What if he doesn't want me the same way? What if all of this was, like many things are to him, a competition; a game? What if the massive, terrifying Ghost is actually too good for me?

"Ivy?" A voice cuts through my reverie. It's Flora, of course.

Apparently it's not the first time she's said my name, as everyone looks at me expectantly. The heaviness of Simon's stare pores a hole into the side of my head.

"Yes, sorry?" I ask, exaggeratedly blinking so it'll look like I just zoned out, not that I'm deep in a spiral of worry, self-consciousness, and embarrassment.

"I said, what do you think? Would Soap or Ghost win in a fight against a bear?"

A bear? What kind of conversation have they been having?

"Um..." I say, picking at the skin around my cuticles before stopping myself - I just found my new nail girl, I can't have her hate me already - trying to decide. "Well, I feel like Soap has a little more agility, and Simon probably has more strength... I don't know, what kind of bear?"

Soap, who was looking at me expectantly, groans. "Well, a normal bear!"

"A bear is pretty strong..." I say, trailing off, looking to Flora for her support. She smiles at me. I'm guessing she didn't have an answer either. "I guess I am obligated to say Simon," I say, finally, after Soap leans forward even farther in anticipation of my answer.

"Ugh!" he says, leaning back and covering his face with his eyes. "Why does everyone say no!"

Price claps him good-naturedly on the shoulder, and they dive into another conversation. Through my thoughts, I pick up on the word wild boar.

Simon, though, is not easily fooled a second time. Suddenly, he tosses a few bills on the table, and grabs my bag away from me when I try to reach in my bag to contribute. "Ivy and I are going to go now," he says, loudly.