enemy to doctor - the hating game

31 - morning examinations

I wake up at least 20 times throughout the night.
Not necessarily because of the pain but more because of discomfort or sometimes from the cold fucking metal on my chest.
I don't know what time it is right now but the dim light shining in from under the curtains suggests that it's already day.

"You up?" Josh asks from behind me. I'm laying next to him, his arm under my head and my head rested upon his shoulder.

"Yeah. But don't even think about checking my heartbeat again one more time. You woke me up at least 7 times last night with that stupid thing." I realize that I've regained my voice and the harsh pain from my throat has subsided to something like a very very sore throat.
He chuckles.

"8 times to be precise. Give me your hand." I groan and lift my left hand and turn, then lay it onto his chest and a few seconds later two fingers press onto my pulse. We remain like this for some time and I am already drifting off into sleep again but then he lets my hand go, slings an arm around me, lifts me up, pulls his body out from beside mine and settles me back down onto the bed and into the soft pillows.

"Your pulse should be fine. Patrick wants me to do another examination and change the bandaging, maybe draw some blood."
My eyes shoot open and I stare at him.

"I know. I'm sorry." His facial expression is pained and his whole body seems tense as he shrugs on the navy sweater that he left off for the night.

"Why do you even need to do that.? Cant you just do it through one of the IV's? I have freaking two."

I kind of already know the answer but I still feel like at least protesting and resisting a bit.

"They're built in a way that doesn't allow blood to retreat from the tube, it's just for fluids to be administered into the vein. And the injections are intramuscular."

He is checking something on a chart that is laying on top of the little table next to the bed and I watch him as his facial expression shifts to something concentrated.

"I'll do all the stuff here because I have the right equipment and then I'll move you back to the old room." He lifts his eyebrows at me as if questioning whether I agree.

I only nod, still determined not to easily accept the blood draw and also the injections he postponed last night. Absolutely too many needles.

I pull the blanket up as far as possible but hiss at the pain radiating from my right hand. I try to hide the pain but Josh immediately realizes and plucks my hand from the blanket.
I divert my eyes and star at the ceiling instead of at what Josh is doing.
Gently he removes the tape that holds the IV in place and runs his fingers over the skin.

"Rosa is a good doctor and anesthetist. But this IV is not really-"
Pain shoots through my hand and I wince again.

"I'm sorry. I tried to adjust it a little. Maybe with proper bandaging and taping I can avoid it to move a lot. But you still need one for at least 3 days for the pain management."

I finally manage to look at him and our eyes meet.
His voice is drenched in genuines and his gaze is reassuring and caring. Immediately I feel bad about my bitchy behavior.

"I'm sorry, i shouldn't have-" I sigh but Josh interrupts me.

"No no, it's fine. Don't apologize. I'll take your blood now, the same way I did yesterday. I'll be as gentle as just possible and then we'll see about everything else."

"Okay. Do it. But hurry before I change my mind-"

Quickly Josh grabs a band from the little table beside me and within a few seconds it's clenching around my upper arm.
He works so fast, I barely manage to follow him. Spray is being applied to my elbow crook, he wipes it and then he suddenly is already holding the needle.
That bitch had everything already prepared and I didn't even notice.

"Clench your hand and close your eyes."

I take a big shaky breath and listen to his instructions.
Shortly afterwards his fingers are tapping onto the veins, presumably trying to find the most suitable one. Panic rises inside of me.

"Josh, wait-"

Suddenly the needle pierces my skin with a tiny pinch and I clench my mouth shut and my left hand around the blanket.

"Good girl. Count to ten for me."

I take another sobbing breath in and begin to count.

"1....2.....3....4.....5-"

"Done."

My eyes fly open and I see that the needle is already out and disposed. In a little tray I see two ampullae of my blood.

"How did you-" I gawk at him as the surprise seeps through my bones and into my voice.

"It's all about doing it quickly and finding the right vein. I did both." He shrugs and smiles down at me while pulling off the pair of gloves and throwing them into a little bin on the side table.
Then he leans forward and kisses my forehead. His head remains in the same position as he mumbles the next words.

"You presumably have a trauma from all of this. I'm not going to tell you to go to a psychologist or something but I'm going to do my best to get you through this rough time. I'll help you with your fears."

That's my cue. I gently cradle his neck with my hands and pull him down until our noses touch. And then I kiss him. It feels like it's been an eternity since I've had the pleasure of doing so and he immediately returns the kiss. It's deep and longing but not the raw kind. Not the kind of kiss we shared in the bathroom yesterday. His hand finds it's way into my hair and he gently pulls it. His tongue meets mine and gently sucks my bottom lip in. It's pure bliss.
After a minute I have to break the kiss, desperately trying to catch my breath again.

"Hey hey, easy." He strokes my cheek with his thumb and let's one hand slide to my neck, checking my pulse.

"I'm- fine." I huff and he laughs that deep sexy laugh before pressing another kiss to my forehead.

"Let me check your throat and then I'll change the bandages, check the sutures and stuff."

"Okay. Sure."

It's weird how fast he can change from making out to behaving like a doctor again.
He gets up and walks to the cabinets at the wall, retrieves some stuff and comes back.

"Open wide and push your tongue out."

I do and he pushes my tongue down with a little wood spatula, then checks the back of my throat with some light.

"Still irritated but better. I assume it feels like a very sore throat?"

"Yeah. Just like when I had tonsillitis."

"Sounds fitting. I'll get you some ice cream later."

My eyes light up at that and he laughs.

"You need to start eating normally again. As the surgery and the other procedures are over we can do that from today on."

"Sounds good." I smile at him and he smiles back. An uncomfortable silence begins to spread and within seconds the atmosphere changes. So does Josh' facial expression.

"Lucy, I know you don't want to but-" I hold my breath as he lets out a long sigh and grabs my left hand.

"We can't postpone any longer. I really wish I could but if Patrick finds out, he'll just do it himself and keep you here for longer."

Fear creeps into my mind and I crease my eyebrows, not sure of what to do.
I could try to refuse. But I doubt that Josh wouldn't tell Patrick and then I'd be stuck here for even longer. But what am I supposed to do?
Who would expect me to just willingly give in to two painful injections?
'Yeah go ahead Josh. Don't worry at all, its not like I'm scared shirtless of needles or something.'
I bite my lower lip and divert my gaze once again. With a squeeze of my hand Josh gets up and walks to the cabins. I hear metal clinking and different kinds of sounds for a minute or two. Then he turns around and walks back over to the bed.

A covered tray in his hands.