The Un-Released Released Tapes of The Past

1# Author Notes. Just to clarify stuff

I'd like to clarify a few things about my story.
IMPORTANT TO READ! IT'LL GIVE YOU BETTER UNDERSTANDING OF THE CHARACTERS!

1st. This story highlights a lot of problems surrounding not feeling good enough and comparing yourself to other people.

This isn't what is canon because over there, it seems like both Cale and KRS has come to terms and do not resent themself. This story is just me wanting to do some angst about the whole body exchange. I want the story plot to be:

OgCale : I, my soul, means so little to the world, that if my soul never existed in my body, it wouldn't matter at all. I should've never been born in Cale Henituse's body. That body and bloodline is important but not me, that's why the God of Death had me switch my soul. My soul just doesn't matter here, not this world. [I have yet to determine OgCale's thought about himself once he reached earth]

OgKRS : I, who has been cursed ever since i was born (thanks to white star) to lose everyone i love, is finally free from it when Cale decides that he wants to switch places with me. Despite being the enemy in the world's eyes, his compassion stays that he is willing to give his body to someone else. He gets transferred into a world he has almost no knowledge about, let alone the future like me. I don't feel like I'll never be good enough to match the real Cale Henituse. Sure, he's trash...but just on the outside. I'm inside out trash.

Basically, both have issues in terms of self image and self worth... This will most likely delivered through songs

2nd. This is a songfic. I'm going to put in many songs in this, i don't know how much plot I'll do, but most of it comes from undertanding the songs. It is IMPORTANT TO NOTICE is it Cale's past recordings (aka the ogcale's tapes from before he transmigrated but after he regressed) or Cale right now (which is OgKRS's perception of everything). This plays apart in the 2 songs that has been done before. For instance:

In the first song, chapter "Sincerely, your Trash Son"... It is about OgCale's regret and how he feels like he's not good enough for this world..so much that a god would rather switch his soul. That's just how insignificant his role is for that world..he thought. At the end of the tape, he talks about how the world is a huge play... he.. as one of the background actors, was so insignificant that the god had to take him out of the play. He also mentions the dollhouse thing.

In the second song, chapter "Wont you be a good sibling?"... It is about Cale (as in KRS in cale's body)'s perception of Cale and the Family. Cale only knows about OgCale's relationship with his family when talking to him during the whole puzzle city thing, just like the canon. Cale jumps around the fact that everything in this house is a play by calling the entire manshion a dollhouse. He feels out of place within the Henituse family because he doesn't see himself as a henituse son, rather, an imposter wearing the skin of their son. Yes, in this fic, he isn't over it simply because of his inferiority complex and also self hatred. He knows the face he's wearing is handsome but he doesn't love looking at it because it reminds him that everything he has here, is what OgCale could've have. Basically, he feels like he's in a play 24/7.

He also brushes over a little bit with the dollhouse by implying that OgCale is doing a play. He plays the role of the hated son of a count who, in secret, does it in order to boost his step brother who obv had a hard time being accepted. "Wont you be a good sibling?" line is basically what he knows everyone wants to say to him, to OgCale. But that is what OgCale was doing. He tried being the good sibling by taking the blame. A bad plan, but the genuine goal was the point. The thing is, they always pretend to be in civil terms and OgCale did his best to make his step brother look good. But no matter how trashy he got, everyone, mostly Deruth and Violan, were cowards who didn't want to check up and see.. Hey,, whats going on with our son? Maybe we need to help him.

[I mean, the boy was drunk since he was 15. Wdym you keep giving him more money to further his addiction instead of giving him a doctor or send him to theraphy? of maybe you can sit down and try to talk to him a little bit more. Because personally, for me, just a little bit more effort and maybe, the mask would've cracked. That would've changed everything]

3rd. I'm not going to paint Deruth as a heartless monster, neither will i do to Violan. THEY HAD NO AFFAIR. Too soon? yes, but he didn't cheat on her. They didn't do all the right things, but they did do many of them. As a reader, I chose to support them for all they did right as opposed to just hating them for what they shouldn't have done. They both care for OgCale, they just aren't as good in showing and taking care of Cale. But hey... It's their first time in life too. They're trying...not enough, but they are. Still, I kinda associate Deruth with "Traitor" by Olivia Rodriguez. I understand how Violan help him pick himself back up but... I still think they got together too quickly and didn't give Cale any room to breathe about the matter.

4th. Jour isn't going to be a saint. I wont paint her as this forgiving woman who sighs in his husband's incompetence. As someone who can see the rings of life, everything she thinks of Cale is the same as the canon. I think a woman that strong, mentally, would have cracked a few times. Although unintentional. This will support Cale thinking there is an affair.

5th. In canon, OgCale mentions that he doesn't know who Basen's Father is. IN MY FIC, HE ALSO DOESN'T KNOW! However, he has a theory in his head that Basen's father is Deruth. He never tells this theory to Cale because...he doesn't know if it's true or not. Either way, he is very hurt of the thought. His mother always looked sad around the few years before her death...he assosiates this with Deruth being frequently not with the 2 of them and the possibility of an affair.

I think that is all for now. I hope too update soon but things get hectic. This is just me mapping things out. If you didn't read this, maybe you wont get spoiled...but if you did, you might be able to understand what I'm trying to write more. I have read zillions of fics but in writing... not too much. But do check out my other fics if you want. Some unfinished, some oneshots.

Notes:

What's your headcanons?

By the way, if you have a different opinion or any suggestion you wanna tell me.. go ahead. I might now follow, but it''s nice to hear what people expect and what other people think of my fic, my headcanon, and opinions.

Slight life update: I am in risk of failing a uni module... Am I studying? Eee...not really. But i really should... damn

Much love, until next time.
Signed, Peach