In Every Universe

13

Bright stared at the still empty coffee shop in the small corner of his music shop. He looks at it as if Win would magically materialize if he imagined him hard enough.

He was aware of how pathetic he looked. Thanks largely to Love always telling him that he did.

She had been hanging out with him again, claiming to be bored but Bright knew she was also there to pester him to not mess with divine will.

Her presence should make him more stubborn. After all, if Love was being this pushy then that means he was doing something the Benevolent didn't expect and thus Win might just have a chance at finally living happy and oblivious to the ripe old age of 95.

But every second that passes without Win feels like a sledgehammer to his chest. It was forcing all his worst instincts to the surface. Just this morning, he had almost bit the head off someone who was wondering when the cafe will resume operations.

NEVER! he wanted to yell at the hapless customer. HE'S BETTER OFF WITHOUT ME. HE'S DATING A DOCTOR NOW. WHY WOULD HE EVER COME BACK?!?!

He didn't yell but his glower was so intense that he might as well have.

Thankfully, business was a lot slower than its already slow usual. And Bright was spared from having to talk to anyone else.

He wasn't even talking to Love. Wasn't listening to her prattle. Wasn't paying attention to anything that wasn't the scorching pain of the Win-sized hole in his life.

"I am going for a walk," he declared to no one, he grabs his phone and keys, and heads for the door not even waiting for Love to react, not even locking the business up.

He finds himself drawn to Mount Providence, mindlessly climbing the steep hill that lead to the hospital complex.

It is only when affronted by the building, by its austere white walls and its overpowering antiseptic scent does Bright stop in his tracks.

Images flash in his head- IV packs, ECG monitors, needles, vomit, blood.

He needed to get out of here before his pain turned into insurmountable grief.

He heads towards the back area of the hospital where a winding staircase would lead downwards and cut through the main park in their city. He is almost sprinting down the steps, eager to get as far away from the hospital as fast as possible.

Even when he gets to the park, even as small food stalls and children and dogs wander in his path- his pace doesn't slow. He was moving as if he could outrun this world and its plans for him.

As he slams into another person, soup and noodles soaking them both, it is made obvious that there is no running away from fate.

This is made explicitly clear when Bright starts apologizing profusely and looks up at his victim.

Doctot Kit.

Bright's hundreth apology dies on his lips.

"Hey, Bright. It's you."

"Hi," is all he manages to say. A beat. "I am so sorry about your shirt."

Kit shrugs. "Don't worry I have extras in my car. So what bring you here? Are you sick? Is Win?"

"Win?"

"Yeah, Win...Bright, are you okay? You're turning white."

"I just- Wouldn't you know more about Win?"

"You work together in the same store."

"You're dating him," was Bright's confused response.

Kit's brows furrow. "He didn't tell you?"

"I haven't seen him in days," Bright hastily admits, still wondering what it was that he wasn't told. "Did anything happen?"

"Can we go get my clean shirt first?"

Bright nods and they walk to the car park.

The talk took longer than both of them expected - Bright eager to know every detail of what transpired, Kit eager to tell someone who'd understand how he felt about a man who was never really his.

When Win met Kit that day, Kit knew at once something was off. But it wasn't anything he could put a finger on. Besides, Win was wearing the widest smile and was being touchier than usual. Kit thought maybe it was just nerves, inviting someone to your house was a big step after all and Win had made it clear that he rarely dated. Win cooked, Kit helped, they ate. Win wanted to go for a drive to get ice cream at a particular place. They stayed up til late eating dessert and watching movies. It was Win who asked Kit if he could kiss him. Who was he to say no?

Bright steeled himself for the next part of the story, clasping his hands behind him to make sure he didn't suddenly punch the doctor.

But it doesn't really go where he thought it would. He and the doctor shared that feeling.

Oh, Win did kiss Kit. And the infatuated doctor kissed him back. For a moment they were a tangle of limbs and lips and tongue. But it was abruptly cut short when Win pulled away and apologized.

The mood change was palpable after the kiss. Whatever was bothering Win was clawing to the surface, it seemed like he could no longer keep up his carefree facade.

Kit left shortly after, feeling like it was the right thing to do.

The following morning, Win asked if they could meet. And they called it quits over coffee. Well, not "they" exactly. Win wasn't ready for a relationship and he didn't want to string Kit along. It wasn't that he didn't care for the doctor, he explained but he felt like his heart is sitting on the shore of a deserted beach waiting for a ship to dock and no matter how much he'd ask his heart to leave the shore and forget about long lost ships, it won't listen. Kit wanted to tell him it's okay, I can wait with your heart on that beach but he knew Win didn't want him to do so. They parted ways and though they did text a couple more times, Kit has not seen Win since then.

Bright filled with worry. Where could he be then?

"Maybe he's in his house," Kit offers. "I could take you there but my shift starts in a bit."

"I know the way, I have walked him home once or twice."

Kit nods. He looks away. "Is it you he's waiting for? Are you the ship lost at sea?"

Bright forces a laugh. "I highly doubt it."

Kit smiles. "I have seen how you look at him. Are you sure it's not you?"

"I would be so bad for him. I bring with me too many monsters and too many ghosts."

"That doesn't answer my question at all. Or maybe it does."

Kit pauses for a second then speaks again. "Win is a strong man, he can slay any monster."

Bright forces another laugh but it comes out like a sigh.

"I have to go back to the hospital." Kit stands and before he leaves he pats Bright's shoulder. "I hope you find what you're looking for. Both of you."

He jogs away and Bright watches him disappear into the horizon.

His worry swirls around him.

Where was Win?