[BOOK ONE]
Moving to Derry at the start of her teen years, Nicole Líadan Fitzpatrick's life is an adventure.
She's been following the Derry Girls around as long as she can remember, becoming an integral part of their colourful lives. Watch as she na...
Being in Sister Michael's office for the second time that day was the unfortunate reality the Derry Girls (& fella) found themselves in. Under the principal's accusatory stares, nothing but silence filled the room. Boy, had they done it now. A knock on the door brought Nickie out of her thoughts.
"Enter."
Barging through the door were Erin and Orla's bunch. Mary ran in first, followed by Sarah, Gerry, and Grandda Joe holding little baby Anna.
"Erin. What in God's name!"
"Did you kill that wee nun, girls?"
Erin pleaded, "Of course we didn't!"
"Then why were you pissing on her dead body and making sandwiches?"
"Say nothing girls. Say nothing till we've seen a lawyer!"
"If you could all just take a seat."
Obeying Sister Michael, the Quinns and McCools sat across from the alleged murderers. The air was tense before Michelle's mam burst in, clearly coming straight from work since she was still in her nurses uniform.
"Sorry I'm late, Sister, couldn't get over the bridge. This bloody bomb. I begged the Brits to let me take my chances, but the awkward bastards made me go the long way."
Joe spoke up, "Health and safety gone mad, Deidre."
"What are you playing at?" Her cold gaze shifted to Michelle, "Rifling through a dead nun's handbag?"
"She stole my lipstick, Mammy!"
"Don't lie. Sister Declan was a woman of God."
"Actually," Sister Michael pondered, "she was known to be a bit light-fingered."
Suddenly an annoyingly English voice filled the room.
"Where is my mom, Auntie Deidre?"
"She's away back to London."
"What, without me?"
"Oh, dry your eyes, James."
Nickie had no clue as to why the English fella seemed upset. Being away from her mammy had done wonders for her. Just before she could say something, Clare's da hobbled in.
"Sorry to keep you waiting, Sister. How long does it take to diffuse a fecking bomb? Sure, the wee robots do all the work!"
He turned to his daughter, "Oh, killing nuns now, is it?"
