Burden

*-chapter seven-*

My phone has been ringing persistently for the last few minutes, and as I glance at the screen, I see it's the hospital number calling. The anxiety builds within me, making it difficult to summon the courage to answer. The fear gnaws at me; perhaps they are calling to inform me that my mother is refusing the help she so desperately needs. i know its selfish, but i'm so tired having to deal with this.

Finally mustering the courage to answer the phone, I hear a voice on the other end. "Ah, it's good to hear from you, Maeve. I'm just calling to let you know your mother has completed her 48 hours, and we want to ask you to come in so Dr. Maggie can talk about the next steps." I take a few deep breaths before responding, "Um, sure... yeah... um, when?" There's a pause, and I hear the sound of nails hitting a keyboard for a few seconds. "The doctor is free between twelve and four." Without hesitation, I affirm, "I'll be there at twelve."

Turning off the TV, I rise from the couch and make my way to the bathroom for a shower. The routine of tidying up my room follows, and then I shift my focus to organizing the living room, hoping to distract myself from the heavy feeling in my stomach.

Glancing at my phone, I realize it's time to leave. Catching a bus, I arrive at the hospital, each step a deliberate effort to navigate the emotional terrain awaiting me. 

Knock, knock, knock. The door opens to Dr. Maggie, who smiles at me. I return the gesture, peering into the room to see my mum sitting on a chair in front of a desk, her expression stern, arms crossed.

"Mayve, hello. Come inside and take a seat," Dr. Maggie says, gesturing to the chair. I comply, taking a seat. "Hey Mum, how are you feeling?" I ask. "Yeah, good."

Dr. Maggie starts the meeting, "Okay, so we've been talking with Genifer and have sketched out a plan for you and your mum." Her words make me furrow my brows, and Dr. Maggie notices my confusion. "I mean, we read her file, and we could see in the past you had a plan for her to stay home with a carer to make sure she had her pills."

"Um, yeah, but that obviously didn't work. I mean..." I divert my attention to my mother, whose scowl seems to deepen. "I would love for you to come home, but I can't ignore the fact that there are concerns about your well-being and safety."

As Dr. Maggie continues outlining the plan, my mum's scowl transforms into anger. "Why don't you want me home? What's the problem?" she interjects, frustration evident in her voice. I try to explain the complexities, but she refuses to understand, convinced that my reluctance is rooted in something other than genuine concern. The tension in the room grows as we grapple with differing perspectives on what's best for her.

"I want you home, of course I do. It's just... I don't know if I'm the one who can support you." My words are met with an explosive reaction. "No, it's because you hate me, you spoiled brat! I gave you everything, and this is how you repay me!"

"Ms. Hart, please refrain from this," Dr. Maggie interjects, attempting to defuse the escalating situation.

"Mum, you tried to end your own life again. You need help," I assert, directing my attention to Dr. Maggie. "I think it's best she stays in the mental institution down the road. I researched it; it has really good ratings." The room hangs heavy with the weight of our emotions, the prospect of a decision that might offer the necessary support but at the cost of strained family ties.

"Ah yes, the Sunny Goods facility. I know they have a few spaces opened. Ms. Hart, do you have any thoughts on this?" Dr. Maggie inquires, her tone measured as she navigates the delicate situation.

My mother's anger simmers, and she glares at me. "I can't believe you're doing this to me. You're sending me away like I'm some kind of burden."

Tension fills the room, and I take a deep breath, trying to maintain composure. "Mum, it's not about that. It's about getting the right support, and Sunny Goods has professionals who can help you."

She scoffs, then muttering a almost inaudible "sending me away like i'm the burden when you know it you the burden", refusing to acknowledge the severity of the situation. Dr. Maggie patiently awaits her response, knowing that decisions of this nature require time and understanding. The weight of the moment lingers, and the future hangs in the balance as we grapple with the complexities of mental health and familial bonds.

Dr. Maggie maintains a calm demeanor, understanding the gravity of the decision at hand. "Ms. Hart, it's essential to consider the best environment for your well-being and recovery. Sunny Goods has a dedicated team that can provide the support you need."

My mother's eyes well up with tears, a mix of frustration and hurt. "You're abandoning me," she accuses.

My heart aches, torn between the love for my mother and the recognition that her safety and well-being must take precedence. "Mum, it's not about abandonment. I want what's best for you, and right now, a specialized facility can offer the care you require."

mum reluctantly agrees, though she makes it clear that she's not happy about it. "Fine, but I'm doing this because I don't want to live in a house with someone who doesn't want me" Dr. Maggie offers a supportive smile, understanding the complexities of the situation. The room is left with a heavy silence as we grapple with the difficult path ahead, knowing that the choices made today will shape the future of my mother's mental health journey.

_____

Unedited