Singapore Sci-Fi

Chapter 18 - Jaina

Days had passed in school like any other. In spite of being informed I had some "grand purpose" imbued by an inter-dimensional guardian, I partly felt as if I had imagined the whole thing. I was nothing more than a spoiled Alpha Gen baby with nothing to do.

I filled my head with all the material at school that I had so long not understood to the surprise of my mother - who was undoubtedly consulting Dr. Jodie about my rise in grades. Really, I could not stand the thought of what they were discussing and how they were going to make sure that I was going to have "one of her episodes" again.

It was unexpected when, upon returning home from school, I see the nanny Sofia holding the hand of a Jamaican woman asking her to pray with her while the woman vehemently shook her head at this, saying that she worshiped Goddess Oshun.

Then my mom walks in. She looks stressed, gripping her phone in her hand, wrinkles etched into her forehead, and failing to push her Millennial side part out of her face. She looks at the woman in front of her and appears deadpan, not even asking who the woman is. Meanwhile, the Jamaican lady cries and says, "You look just like her."

"You shouldn't be here," Mom says. "You'll just confused my daughter."

The lady smirks at her and says, "You white girls act so entitled, thinking you understand everything, and not caring about what is right in front of you." She scoffs and adds, "She is your sister."

"She wrote a book about me!" exclaims Mom. "She damaged my entire reputation and my father's company!"

"Your reputation was already ruined you stupid girl. You should not have tried to dabble in things you don't understand - start  a cult, and all that. For what? You turned your very own children into monsters. My daughter did a kindness to you," she says, inches away from Mom's face now. "She warned you. Now, tell me where Naomi is."

Mom looks at me and her eyes widen. She knows that I know. Scared, I duck out of the house and run away.

Damn everyone, and screw me for trying. My parents, the stupid guardians, my brother, Aunt Naomi. I'm barely down the block when I run into Sofia. She is staring back at me, smiling, as if she had intended to catch me all along. It's unnerving, and I want to back away from her but instead throw my hands up in surrender. I know this is a conversion tactic. The ex-nun could not resist the opportunity to have a one on one with a teenage girl.

"Do you believe in God?" she asks, walking alongside me as we make our way through the park.

"No," I say. "How could God allow such bad things to such wonderful people? Then you want to say that I should remain a virgin until I'm married, stay married, never wear a condom.... How could everything be so random? Meaningless?"

"It's normal to have questions. Not everything in the Church is good, neither is it bad. You have to have a personal relationship with God in order to understand what it is he wants you to do."

I should have asked Kathair what he thought about the God concept.

She continues lecturing, adding "Where you see Nihilism, I see patterns. Your generation is addicted to finding the worst in every situation. You have to slow down to hear God's voice. What called me to my holy life was a reawakening of my faith through Baptism. I was allowed to see the consequences of sin and the need for redemption. I was able to start the journey. God is calling you to that journey right now too," she says.

"I would rather not," I reply. "I think I am perfectly fine the way that I am. I don't need Church to be happy."

"Excuse me," says Sofia, silently leaving me to go talk to a homeless, blind man. The man smiles, taking comfort in her words. I feel something move in my heart as I'm watching them - whether it's curiosity or envy, I cannot say. I see clearly a path of peace that has been pervading her whole life, and I wish badly for that same comfort.