🇬🇧 || 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐇𝐨𝐬𝐭 || Yoonmin

2

During the phone call, Jimin was asked for his biographical data, phone number, and an email address. He received the test he had read about on the website — ten multiple-choice questions whose intellectual stature was matched only by Cioè quizzes.

Jimin lay in his king-size bed on the top floor of the skyscraper owned by his family, a room with a panoramic view of Seoul through expansive floor-to-ceiling windows. Decorated by a French designer with custom-designed furniture from a Swiss furniture maker, his living space reflected unthinkable luxury, almost princely splendor, and yet, he was about to hire a gigolo.

Jimin wondered why he was doing this, then remembered that the alternative was marrying a woman only because his parents wanted to impose it on him.

He opened the test.

First question: Do you spend your free time...

A) With music blaring, loving to dance and have fun!

B) In the kitchen! Juggling recipe books, blenders, and ovens is your passion!

C) Reading a good book relaxed on the couch.

D) Being outside the house, walking in the woods or exploring the city.

Jimin thought all this was beyond stupid. How could they determine the right gigolo for him by asking such questions? He selected the first of four very stupid answers.

Question Two: What do you expect from your relationship with your host?

A) Mutual trust and understanding that lasts over time.

B) A man who can hold you and make you feel like his own.

C) An escape from boring married life; a relationship of passion and madness.

D) Complicity, a person you can have fun with even outside the sheets.

Jimin almost choked on his saliva. None of those answers were right for him! Only for the "mutual trust" question did he vote for answer A again.

Question Three: At this time in your life, what do you think you need?

A) Certainty, too many doubts nagging at you.

B) More free time to devote to what you enjoy doing.

C) Take a break from work and disconnect.

D) Travel, get away from everything and everyone.

He did not recognize himself in any of the four proposed options. However, the fourth option was the only vaguely acceptable one, so he voted for that one.

Question four: Which of these couples represents "the ideal" for you?

Jimin did not even bother to read the options. Since he did not know any of the people offered among the alternatives, he simply voted at random by pressing the first thing that came under his finger. Next question.

Fifth question: What would you never be able to give up?

A) Sincerity. If the other person hides something from you, you freak out.

B) Stability. You are a quiet person and hate people who change their minds abruptly.

C) Extravagance. You hate a monotonous, flat life - the right person for you is full of life!

D) Being the center of attention. The other person doesn't have to "scalp" you; his or her character is mild.

Honestly? All four things did not interest him. Maybe the first one, just as a matter of principle, but the other three were absurd. Really, but by what criteria had such a test been drawn up? He voted "A" increasingly skeptical.

Sixth question: For you to engage means.

A) Loving.

B) Caring for each other.

C) Studying.

D) Working.

"Commit" ... According to Jimin, it meant giving your best, making things take the desired turn, whatever it took. Perhaps this meant "working" in a sense, only on oneself. Of course, this was his own interpretation, but it still seemed the closest to his way of thinking.

Seventh question: You want to give yourself a gift, what do you do?

A) Treat yourself to a few hours of relaxation in the company of a good book.

B) Spoil yourself with a nice relaxing and rejuvenating massage.

C) Look for a host site—the best gift is having good sex!

D) Buy something extremely expensive that you have wanted for a while.

Reading? Torture. A massage? Not a gift; she used to get one a week. Host site? A necessity, or rather, a hassle he would gladly do without. Again, the last alternative seemed the most apt.

Thank goodness there were only two questions left before the end of that tedious torture.

Question eight: You have a week to spend as you wish, what do you do?

A) Leave with your friends and go on vacation.

B) Close accounts with the past by ending unfinished business.

C) Devote yourself to yourself and your passions.

D) Plan your future.

Bollocks. What a trivial life did people have to recognize themselves in such a thing! Jimin again did not know what to vote for. He decided to vote for three out of desperation, not wanting to put his mind to which of the four options he really saw himself in.

Question nine: How do you see yourself five years from now?

A) In a stable relationship.

B) Job-accomplished.

C) Around the world.

D) Running a business.

AH! Finally. He voted for the fourth answer—that would be his future, inheriting his father's empire and sitting on his ass in his office while employees and sub-managers worked their butts off to make sure the company did well.

Tenth (and final!) question: The person you would like to be is like...

A) Your parents.

B) Able to entertain crowds like a show business personality.

C) Creative and ambitious like a fashion designer.

D) A style icon, full of classy good taste.

Jimin voted for the last one. Being flawless was his main priority in life. Out came the loading icon - he would finally know which gigolo was right for him. He felt his adrenaline rise exponentially as the loading icon spun, spun, spun almost unnervingly.... Then, finally, the result appeared.

The right host for you is Min Yoongi - category: loner.

He doesn't like useless talk; he prefers action to words. Most of the time, you will not be able to understand what he is thinking, but that is what will make you crazy about him. Despite being an authoritarian and independent person, he will fulfill your every wish. Tough and passionate, Min Yoongi is the host for excellence—beautiful, impossible to possess, never having to ask.

The character description satisfied Jimin. Perhaps that test was not as absurd as he had thought.... A quiet person who could stay in his place and obey was what he needed. He would not risk saying things that might betray him in front of his parents, he would not be intrusive, he would not nauseate him with meaningless blather.... He was definitely a good catch.

At this point, however, Jimin felt the need to see the face of the gigolo he had happened upon. He went to the website and browsed through the profiles until he found Min Yoongi's. He opened it and smiled soddenly: with a guy like that, he certainly would not look out of place. He was even believable—if he was gay, he could have fallen in love with this Min Yoongi. His parents would surely have taken the bait.