universe | minji (newjeans)

adieu, mon soleil

» Realising that you have fallen in love with her
» 1712 words
» minji × fem reader

I wish I could unlearn her, because falling in love with her wasn't a part of my plan. I enjoyed her company. I enjoyed those days when she was by my side as a friend, but I made a mistake. I allowed myself to fall in love with her. She's my friend.

I fell in love with my best friend.

I know I shouldn't have done it, but the moment I realised I have fallen for her, I just had fallen too deep. Too deep for me to survive. Too deep for her to save me. Too deep.. it is just too deep.

Now, I am thinking of the best way to avoid her. Even better, if I can forget about her completely. Erasing and deleting every memory that we had shared together. Maybe, disappear from her life? Going somewhere far away from her side.

Avoiding however caused me to hurt her. I swear, before I mess up, she has the sweetest smile and always puts it on her face. Now, every time I see her, every time our eyes meet, her smile fades. The same goes when she is laughing.

That's why I thought leaving her life completely would be better.

I yearn to erase the memories of her, as my heart wasn't meant to fall for a friend. Those days of shared laughter turned into a tangled mess of emotions, and I find myself desperately seeking a way out of this unrequited love. The depth of my feelings has become overwhelming, threatening to drown me in a sea of emotions too profound to navigate.

As I grapple with the realization that I can't simply undo my emotions, the struggle intensifies. I contemplate distancing myself from her, maybe even vanishing from her world entirely to spare both of us the pain. Yet, the very act of avoidance inflicts wounds upon her, tarnishing the once radiant glow of her smile.

The more I try to escape, the tighter the knots of regret and heartache become. I'm caught between the desire to preserve what's left of our friendship and the unbearable weight of unspoken feelings.

In those moments when our eyes meet, I witness the subtle transformation in her expression - the fading glow of her smile and the muted joy in her laughter. It's a painful spectacle, a consequence of my futile attempts to shield her from the turmoil within me.

Perhaps disappearing from her life was not the solution, but rather a catalyst for more anguish. Now, the dilemma lingers: Should I confront my emotions and risk our friendship, or continue down this path of silent suffering?

Graduation day...
February, 2023

Minji's excitement was palpable as she clutched her graduation certificate, but it quickly turned to concern when she couldn't spot YN in the sea of graduates. Confused, Minji weaved through the dispersing crowd, a mix of joy and worry bubbling up on this significant day.

Desperation fueled Minji's search as she navigated through the bustling crowd of graduates and their families. Her attempts to call YN went unanswered, adding to the growing unease in her chest. With each passing moment, the weight of the situation intensified, over-shadowing the celebratory atmosphere of the graduation ceremony.

Finally spotting a mutual friend, Yoona and Jinsoul, Minji approached with a sense of urgency. "Have you seen YN?" she asked, trying to keep her voice steady.

Yoona and Jinsoul looked at each other, confused too. "I thought she was with you..?" Yoona hesitated. Jinsoul tilted her head and began to look around. "Let's find her." Jinsoul suggests, started to make her way into the crowd.

Yoona and Minji followed Jinsoul and they began their mission to find YN. Their confusion rose when they failed to find the familiar tall figure. Without saying anything, Minji made her way to ask her classmates.