My Autumn with April

Six

~April~

I couldn't sleep. By 11pm we'd watched 2 movies, talking all the way through them but it was beyond clear he was exhausted and yet he refused to leave. He slept on the couch with some spare pillows and the blanket I'd been under for the past 3 days. But the fact I'd unloaded a tonne of my shit to him last night had had me tossing and turning on my own mattress. 

I came down at 1am to make myself another cup of tea in hopes it would ease the anxieties vice like grip on my lungs but it didn't. Neither did a hot bath. Doom scrolling was a nope. Reading couldn't even hold my focus for 5 minutes. So by 5am I'd given up and started baking. Because that is exactly what everyone does when they can't sleep. They make muffins and croissant and fucking bread. 

The thing with baking is it demands my utmost concentration. I have to make sure I get the numbers bang on right and I'm constantly on the look out for textures and everything else. It allows me to switch off every other part of my brain and focus solely on the task at hand. 

Breakfast at the B&B is from 9am. If I can make these and run them up there in time, I'm sure it'd be a welcomed gesture and some good publicity for when the bakery opens. I pulled the loaf of bread out of the oven, quietly sliding the ceramic pot onto the counter top, smiling proudly at the perfect shade on top whilst the kitchen filled with what is possibly my favourite smell in the whole world. That and El's after shave. 

"Morning." I jumped, catching my arm on the side of the pot and burning it. 

"Shit. Shit. Shit." I shook off the oven gloves, striding across the kitchen to turn the cold tap on and holding my forearm under the water before turning to see a sleepy eyed, shocked Elliott stood in the kitchen doorway completely topless. The images that flashed through my mind were nowhere near appropriate for a friendship so I swallowed, ignoring the screaming pain from between my hips, desperate for a release my hormones wanted El to give me. It wasn't happening. 

"Lemme see." Elliott took a few steps forward and I had to hold up my other hand. 

"I'm fine. It's under the water, I've had worse burns." He rolled his eyes at me, gently pushing past my out reached hand and pulling my arm up so he could see it. 

"Why the hell were you even baking at this time? It's like- 8am." He carefully ran his finger over the red mark and I hissed, making him put it back under the cold water. He stayed close though. That dark but sweet vanilla filling my nose along side the bread and maybe I died in my sleep because I might actually be in heaven right now. 

"I couldn't sleep. I didn't wake you up did I?" 

"No." 

"Good." I nodded at him, I'm going to pass out if he doesn't move right now. "Can you do me a favor?" 

"Mhm." 

"I need to put that other loaf in the oven. I didn't have room for 2." Elliott nodded, stepping back across the room to the slightly bigger loaf of bread. 

"This one?" 

"Yeah. In the middle please." I reached for my phone, setting a timer before Elliott walked back over, this time leaning back against the counter. The room was otherwise silent. Just the sound of water running over my now freezing skin and our breathing. 

"Why couldn't you sleep?" I shrugged at him. "April-" 

"Have you ever thought about how Thursday, October and 8pm are all like the same?" 

"What?" He chuckled.

"They just feel the same." Elliott laughed. "Tuesday and cucumber too." 

"I don't have a clue what you took this morning but I want some." 

"Don't you think they have the same kind of feel to them?" He was still giggling at me as he leaned over and flicked the water off and pulled my arm up to look at it. 

"I guess?" 

"Like 5 is an honorary even number." 

"Okay, yeah no I agree with that one. 5 is the best number." 

"No. 7 is the best number?" 

"No it really isn't. The best number is 5. It just fits nice with everything." 

"Yeah, but 7 times 7 is 49 and that is just like someone leaning in and scratching my brain." 

"5 times 5 is 25 though." 

"I don't like 25." I scowled but El just lowered my hand, smiling at me brightly. "What?" 

"Nothing. How you feeling today?" 

"Better. It's not as bad today." He nodded slowly. "Thanks for- last night. I'm s-" 

"I swear to god if you apologise for anything ever again I'm going to put you in an ice cold shower fully clothed." 

"No, El, listen-" 

"No, you listen. I'm not doing this whole you beating yourself up for stupid crap like telling me something. It wasn't too much. You're not too much. You could sit here and detail every single thing that knobhead did to you and it wouldn't be too much. And you can stop that too." 

"I'm not-" 

"I can see it on your face April. Stop telling yourself you shouldn't have said anything or that no one fucking cares." 

"I-" Elliott's eyebrows lower just a little and my stomach churns with guilt. Knowing he doesn't want me to apologise again, I nod and try to push past the agony growing in my chest. I knew I shouldn't have said anything. I shouldn't have let him come inside last night. I should have just swallowed the pain and gone to that fucking get together at the beach so no one spent the night thinking about me. I'd been in the city for so long, where I could say I didn't feel well and no one would bat an eyelid, that I forgot that wouldn't pass with El. He knew my excuses and my reasonings too well. And I'd just walked right back into town giving him yet another thing to worry about because of course his pure fucking heart wasn't going to let some girl be in pain without trying to help. 

"Okay?" 

"Okay." I nodded again and El stepped back. 

"Now what were you doing, how can I help and where is your first aid kit so I can put a plaster over your burn so you don't catch it." 

"Um- why don't you go get dressed again first? I made that bread you like and some muffins. I'll sort the first aid kit and then the bread should have cooled enough. I need to run all this up to Autumn when the breads finished though."

"I'll walk up with you." 

"I was just gonna drive. Besides you've got the market and the shop." He stared at me. "I'm fine El. Promise. I've just got a lot to do and so do you." 

"Fine. Breakfast first though?" I nod at him and he shoots me one of his perfect smiles. "Good. Don't be long. You have no idea how likely it is that I will eat that entire loaf before you come back down." 

"If you touch it you're not having any. It needs to cool."