Sequel to Broken.
"Memories have the ability of unlocking new emotions. They allow you to relive moments with surfacing feelings you were unable to experience then. It's your choice to let these feelings live and take hold or tragically, or in this...
Thea headed out of the Arts Department to meet with Killian. They'd sat next to each other in the classes they had together earlier in the day, but her last class was different from his. They'd parted ways and agreed to meet at the front of the department. Thea felt the nerves kick in and she was almost nervous about meeting him.
When she'd gone to the bathroom to get ready for the day, Thea had not in the least bit been surprised when she found that her panties were stained. She had simply been glad that she didn't have to do early laundry again. More importantly, she had an explanation for her raging emotions the last couple of days. The bloated look and feel should have clued her in, but her problem was most times, she never knew the signs were signs until she saw the stain.
"Thea."
Thea looked up and saw Killian waving her over.
"Hey," She got closer to him,
"Hey,"
There was tension between them since Friday night and neither of them was ready to bring it up. Now that they both knew they were going to talk about it in a bit, the tension was ready to burst out of the enclosed space it had been stuffed in.
Killian searched her face and she searched his, "Where do you want to go?"
"The Park?"
Killian nodded in agreement, "Sure. C'mon."
He reached out to take her hand and that little action made her relax a little bit. Killian seemed oblivious to it because it was natural for him, but it meant a lot to Thea. She smiled to herself and took his hand.
On the way to the park, they grabbed drinks and snacks from the Bubble Tea Shop. They'd finished eating by the time they reached the park which was perfect because of the conversation they had to have.
Killian let out a breath as soon as they walked into the park, "Am I the only one who feels uncomfortable in our current situation?"
Thea smiled sadly, "I'm sorry I made you feel like I was done with us."
"Hey, that's not on you." Killian said, "I shouldn't have projected my insecurity on you."
"You wouldn't have felt that way if I hadn't been acting the way I was."
"You need to remember that we can't control anyone's reaction to anything, only ours." Killian glanced at her, "Don't put that pressure on yourself, it just makes things feel even more out of your control and you end up in a spiral."
Thea let go of the heaviness on her shoulder and felt the vice around her heart ease up a bit. "Why do you feel that way?"
Killian opened his mouth and then closed it, "Things have been off for a while and I guess I was so blind to it, or I told myself over and over again that it was nothing, and that night, the blinds just slipped off."
"I guess it makes sense," Thea stared at her legs as they walked, "I would probably have the same fear if the roles were reversed."
Killian looked at her for a moment and turned to the path they were walking on, "What's going on Thea?"
Thea stopped, her gaze lifted, and let out a sigh which made her shoulders sag, "I don't know."
Killian came and stopped in front of her, "You don't know as in literally, or you're still trying to process it?"
"I might have an idea of what it might be, but it just feels nineteen years too late."
Killian had no clue what she was talking about and it took everything in him not to say anything because it looked like she was struggling. He didn't want to push her if she wasn't ready to voice what was going on in her head.
"My mother..." Thea paused and swallowed all the while avoiding his gaze,
Killian remembered she mentioned her mother left before she could remember.
"I haven't been able to stop thinking about her lately," She said, "I can't stop imagining what our life would be like if she hadn't left."
Killian sighed because it was not something he could handle for her. This was something she needed to handle on her own and he hated seeing what it was doing to her.
"Atlas doesn't talk about her, never has." Thea said, "Sometimes I wonder if he's protecting me or protecting himself."
Silence filled the space between them.
"Have you spoken to him about it?"
"A few times and every time I do, I watch him shut down completely." Thea looked up at Killian, "It's like he's trying so hard not to think about her or whatever her leaving had done to us, to him."
Killian watched as her eyes misted with tears. He stepped closer and took her in his arms. "I think Atlas needs to get over his fears and tell you about her if it's something that you need to know."
Thea sighed in his arms, "I don't want to push him to get over his fears just because I need to move past mine."
"Uh, I hate that you're right." Killian said, "Can't you talk to your dad about it?"
Thea pulled back to look at him, "You think Atlas is bad, you should meet my dad."
"Like father like son?"
Thea smiled, "Atlas would hate it but I think he's following in my dad's footsteps."
"How so?"
"Detached and..."
"Brooding?" Killian took her by the hand and continued walking,
"Sure, let's go with that." Thea felt light already, "One more thing."
"Yes?" He glanced at her,
Thea studied his face for a second, "You need to learn to give me space when I ask for it."
Killian knew she was right. They couldn't be together always and they both needed space to just be their own individuals.
"I can work on that."
"Good, because I think I might need a lot of time to process all this,"
"Got it." Killian said, "But you need to communicate that before you go AWOL."
"Got it."
"Wait," Killian stopped and turned to face her, "We still haven't talked about Summer break."
Thea smiled, "Another time. Let's just enjoy the rest of the day."
Killian smiled, "That, I can do." He leaned in and placed a kiss on her lips.
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You guys, it's March already!
What is happening? Time is just going by so fast. There's this song lyric that keeps popping in my head because it's so true: The days are moving slowly but the years go by so fast. (Ordinary Days by JJ Heller).
I hope you are having a wonderful and relaxing weekend. I was in the middle of writing a new chapter for Bruised when my alarm went off to remind me that I needed to post a chapter for you.
I can't wait to hear your thoughts on the story so far. Thank you for sticking around, meet you back here at the same time, next week.
