Sometimes You're Just Iffy

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"Chan"

"Chan"

"Channie"

"Bang Chan"

"Chaaaannnn"

"CHANNIEEEEEEE"

"WHAT"

"Can I come in?"

"Fine."

I quickly open the door to his office. Immediately I am met with the faint smell of stressed man, microwave meals, energy drinks, and sadness. Eee, this is not a good look.

His trash can is filled to the brim, he has papers strung about in no order. Some of which are scattered on the floor.

He looks as though he has permanent bed head without the sleep and is in desperate need of a shower.

"Oh Channie, what have you gotten yourself into" I say, meeting the gaze of my clearly struggling brother.

"Nothing, it's fine. What do you need?" He responds, slightly agitated but obviously trying to hide it.

"Well, I was here to ask for some insight and advice. But now I'm here to knock some sense into you" I announce, walking further into the room to sit at the chair in front of his desk.

"Huh?"

"Bang Chan. You have got to be out of your damn mind if you think I haven't noticed you drown yourself in work and stress. The others have even started to notice and a few of them are usually absolutely clueless. What's going on?" I interrogate, a bit fed up with this 'woe is me' phase he's going through.

"I don't know what you mean. I'm perfectly fine, I just have a larger workload right now. If you don't have anything you need from me could I get back to my work alone please?" Chan replies, not meeting my eyes for even a split second.

"I'm not stupid. You either tell me what's going on or I'll steal your laptop and figure it out myself. You and I both know that I am capable of doing it too." I demand, tone more intense, eyes fixated on my stubborn idiot brother.

I watch as he pauses for a split second. Quickly glances to me. Looks to his lap. He's nervous. And so clearly in need of a break. Why does he do this to himself? Surely he knows that the quality of your work is better than how much work you get done at a time?

"Fine. You caught me. Our police contact has given us a long list of things to accomplish that I've been organizing and researching for. Along with trying to locate our parents. I don't know what Jay was on but it must've been something strong because I can't find any file, emails, phone calls, or text messages relating to our parents or Australia. I'm trying to put off as much physical in the field work as possible until you're cleared for more movement. But it's proving difficult and people are expecting us to start stepping in again. I'm sorry" he spitfires, voice slightly cracking.

I get up and pull him into a hug, "you don't have to do all of this on your own y'know? You're not alone anymore. I'm not doing anything all day really, let me try to locate our parents. Start sending a survey duo for the other requested things from the police. Let us share the load with you. If you continue like this we won't have a smart, loving, and reliable leader now would we?"

He shakes his head no, a few tears staining my shirt.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry you got hurt. I'm sorry it took so long to take him down. I'm sorry I didn't find a better place to go when we were kids. I'm-"

"Channie it's okay. You did the best you could considering you were a child too. Jay was in charge of a group that had its roots set for a very long time. Of course it was going to take a while. Getting hurt is part of the job and there's nothing anyone can do about it. We can wear bulletproof vests, thicker fabrics, take more precautions, but injuries will still happen. You're doing your best Chan, but it's time to take a break now" I assure him, holding him tight just like he does for me.

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