How to Hack a Wedding ft. Lucifer (ONC 2024)

7. lucien & paris

"Did you go out last night?" 

That was the line I was greeted with by my dear sister.

"Hello to you too, Paris."

She groaned on the other side of the phone, well aware of my answer to her question without needing me to confirm it out loud.

"Come on, Syd!" She exclaimed, "How will you find someone while sitting in your home?"

By black magic, apparently.

"Actually," I began, "That is what I had called to talk about-"

"No, I won't let you come without a date! Even if I have to bribe one of Oliver's brothers or friends! I don't think Percy would say yes, again, but there are others!"

I sighed.

Lucifer was due to show up any time now, and I had ended up calling my sister when the anticipation of his return started becoming too overwhelming.

I figured I could kill two birds with one stone. I would be adequately distracted, and she would also be updated about a potential candidate to be my date.

Of course, it was certainly settled that I was going with him, but I couldn't spring that up on Paris, directly. She would ask me to start showing my bank statements to prove he wasn't a male escort hired for service.

She was my sister, after all.

"That's not it, Paris!" I whined like a small baby. "I called to tell you that I actually did start talking to someone."

There was a heavy pause at the other end and I wondered if I had accidentally said something suspicious.

It would be just like me to give away the entire arrangement in the very first line.

"What?"

"Yeah, I-"

"WHAT?" There was another pause before, "How? Who? When?"

I took a deep breath. 

She really did not need to sound so surprised. It wasn't as if I had led a life of extreme chastity and celibacy up until now.

"Sydney Janice Hartley, you tell me everything right now!" Her voice deepened with command.

I winced at her use of my middle name. This was how we had been since we were kids. She would corner London or I, whenever something happened, and she would use the same tone that drove the two of us up the wall with nerves.

During high school, when London had been bullied by a girl in our class, Paris- who had come home from college for a long weekend, had gathered every little secret about the girl that she could. The girl had never looked at London, again.

She had also made London write on every wall of her room how Paris was always right and how she would never hide anything from her big sister again. Aunt Madeline's heart had almost stopped beating when she had seen the crime scene the next morning. She had thundered down the stairs, screaming something about calling a priest and exorcising a demon. (London had used black oil crayons, and her entire room was covered with her worm-looking handwriting- which incidentally did look a lot like Lucifer's signature.)

Paris could be incredibly intimidating when she wanted to be.

Before I could actually tell her any details, she interrupted me again, "Oh no, wait! Let's add London and Ambrose on the call, too!"

Ambrose, Aunt Madeline's only child, lived all the way in Germany. I did not really want to calculate the time difference and disturb him randomly.

I also did not want to waste time adding the two of them and waiting to see if they could even talk at the moment or not, specially since I had a date with Lucifer.