How to Hack a Wedding ft. Lucifer (ONC 2024)

8. cecelia & stories

"Uh, come again?"

He sighed, "Darling, you need to keep up with what I say in one go, or our conversations will become very repetitive and redundant."

I stared at him, and he stared right back, utterly amused. The air of confidence surrounding him made me itch to do something stupid and random that he wouldn't be able to see coming from a mile away. Just to see how he would handle such a situation, if nothing else.

He sputtered as the pillow behind my back quickly made its way to the front and over his face, smothering him. 

He let out an animalistic growl, and I felt goosebumps rising all over my skin. A large hand snatched away the feathery pillow in one swift move, revealing his face to me again.

Lucifer narrowed his eyes, and I willed myself to not look away, no matter how much every sense in my body screamed at me to do so.

"Won't telling Lilith that I summoned you give away everything?" I finally asked, unfortunately loosing our staring contest.

His eyes held no victory even as I looked away first. 

"She is an experienced liar," he said at last, throwing my pillow on the floor across the room, "It is easier to lie with elements of truth disguised in. We don't have to tell her you summoned me to act as a companion for your sister's wedding. Mortals summon us all the time for various reasons."

I scrunched up my eyebrows, thinking hard for another reason that I could possibly want to call him for. Still wrapped in my head, I got out of the bed to pick up the fallen pillow. 

My pillows were very dear to me. He really shouldn't have thrown Cecelia all the way to the other corner of the room. I could almost feel her moisture-less tears falling in my hands.

"What else could have I called you for?" I mutter, smoothing over the creased pillow before placing it back in its place, "I don't really need your help with anything else."

He had cocked his head to a side, watching me pet Cecelia with great interest. "We could keep a reason similar to the one now. You weren't having any luck with men in this realm so you decided to broaden your horizons. One thing led to another, and you just happened to fall for me. Don't worry, it's been known to happen before."

I stretched my hands up, pretending to yawn at his last statement. "Women just fall to their knees for you left and right, don't they?"

"Would you rather I fall at mine, for you?"

I didn't have to look into a mirror to know that the shade of my skin was probably matching the shade of my hair almost precisely. 

He really needed to stop acting like this. 

Maybe.

Remember the list, Sydney!

"So basically, I just need to act like a lovesick puppy in front of a gazillion demons and your lie-detector ex-girlfriend, who just so happens to be the first woman ever created, and let you handle the rest. Correct?" I summed up.

He nodded, finally getting out of my bed while doing so. "Pretty much."

Well. Things could have been much worse, in all fairness.

Pretending to be infatuated by Lucifer would not be hard task for me. It would be even easier to act like a geek who couldn't hold on to a guy even if her life depended on it, and needed to summon a demon instead. It was all the truth, anyway.

My longest relationship had probably lasted like seven months, when I had been in high school. I have long suspected that even that one lasted for so long because the boy had been terrified of breaking up with Paris Hartley's sister.

"Fine. Whatever," I shrugged, "Your party, your call. Now about my family-"

"I know everything about them, already. I'll reply in an appropriate manner"

Golly gee, what a surprise.

"And our story?"

"We're coworkers-" I raised my hand to correct him, but he shushed me (umm, what?) "-I know you want me to be your boss, and trust me darling I can make those dreams come true without the wedding parade, but statistically speaking, your family is more likely to embrace me warmly if I tell them we're at the same designation. I ran the numbers in my head just now."

The amount of lies that this dude managed to sprout out of that mouth were incredible. 'Ran the numbers in my head'  what an utter load of bullshit! 

Even though there were definitely no statistics involved here, I did believe that my aunt, and Ambrose, both, would probably see him in a better light. However, I did not need anyone in my family to see him in a better light. He was a going to remain a fling in front of them that would end soon after the wedding. 

Considering I had already mentioned him to Paris, by the time her wedding rolled in, we would be near our one month anniversary. That was usually around the time most of my relationships ended, so no one would really be that suspicious, anyway. 

I figured I could just let him get his way about this one, then.

Before I could agree, or deny, in any fashion, he walked out my room, asking me to follow him by signalling with his fingers.

Do not look at those fingers.

Damn it, Sydney! You weren't supposed to look!

"Where are you going?" I yelled after him, following closely behind. 

Under some other circumstances I would have remained stubborn and not followed anyone anywhere if they did not think it was important to let me know of their purpose before leaving. Unfortunately, he was walking around in my house, and while the fact that he could see exactly where everything was remained, I still felt it necessary to tag along and check what he was up to.

"We're going shopping for a dress," he called over his shoulder, "Come on!"

I halted in my tracks as he opened the front door, and he turned with an exasperated expression. "What now, darling?"

My narrowed eyes and flared nostrils did not faze him one bit. On the contrary, he seemed to enjoy riling me up. Maybe I should act lifeless every time I get angry.

I would need a lot of practice on that.

"You can't just order me around!"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Let me try that again," he said, "We're going shopping for a dress. Will you come with me to help me decide, or would you prefer I dress you up in whatever I most like on that day, at the last moment, with no other alternatives?"

This time the closet thing I had in reach, to hit him with, was a vase. Lucifer happened to be really lucky that it was Aunt Madeline's gift or he would have found shards of glass sticking out of his head. 

My eyes darted between him and the vase and his stance changed. 

"I dare you," he growled. "I won't let you off so easily again, sweetheart. You might not like the punishment I can drum up at such insolence."

We glared at each other for an entire minute before I screamed in frustration.

"Fine!" I yelled, barely refraining myself from pulling out my hair, or his, "But I'm not going out in sweatpants."

I stalked back to my room, and slammed the door behind me.