A prayer diary of someone going through a prayer crisis

Setember 16th, 2023 - Friday

This week has been a dreadful week for me. On Wednesday, I lost money that I couldn't afford to lose – 65 dollars. That's how it goes in my job. I can make money, but I can also lose it. It may be a small amount, but it's too much for me. I felt very disheartened. From that point on, I stopped praying. I'm only returning today.

These moments are challenging for me because, in addition to not receiving the request I've been fervently making, I lose what I cannot afford to lose. The worst part is that the debt keeps increasing day by day, and I can't see a way out. I honestly wonder why God allows this to happen to us. I Corinthians 10:13 says: "No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it."

Unfortunately, here in my family, it seems like we are facing something we cannot bear. I can't understand it. Since I started this account, I've often felt like giving up and never praying again. However, this week has been the worst so far. It feels like I'm talking to the walls at home. It seems like there's no one listening on the other side. It's a terrible feeling of abandonment. God forgive me, but that's how I feel today.

I will continue to share more over time, but our problem is far from just the rent debt. There are many other terrible issues, some of which I don't even know if I can mention here. Most are financial problems.

I continued reading the book. I'm at a part where it doesn't talk about financial requests but prayers for the arrival of missionaries, conversions, and the beginning of a revival that occurred in 1859.