Kindred Spirits

Cracking

  Driving back to base got us more than a few stares the next day, though none of them had the balls to come up to me and ask about it. We'd simply talked for a few more hours after I managed to pull myself together. I found out that he had three younger siblings waiting for him back in New York and that he'd been there for Steve ever since he'd stopped some bullies from stealing his lunch money. He was more than happy to ask where I was during various world events.

  While we weren't exactly best buds, we were friends, something that James took great pleasure in. He would tease me in the small combat classes that I found myself teaching, calling me a grandma from the sidelines but firmly declining whenever I tried to get him to go one on one. I'd return the favor, ribbing him whenever he practiced his marksmanship, gladly showing off that I could achieve an even better shot with a bow and arrow.

  I was frequently away from base, scouting out as many Hydra bases as possible while keeping firmly under the radar. Andy was starting to get tired of pretending that she was another Nazi bimbo, but she did the job beautifully, often with grumbling and eyerolls throughout each performance.

  Coming back from one such mission, we were all more than a little spooked by how quiet everyone was. It was as if they had all had the life sucked out of them, their movements robotic an stiff. We made their way to the briefing room, finding themselves faced with a stone faced Phillips and dejected Peggy.

  "Who?" We'd seen enough military men about to deliver bad news to know what had happened. We knew it had to be a Commando too, since Peggy really only hung around them when she wasn't with Phillips.

  They didn't say anything, but both their eyes flicked up to meet with mine. I felt my heart seize in my chest as I realized what they meant. Everything around me became muffled as I felt my throat closing. Someone was hitting me, though it felt miles away as I drifted in a sea of emptiness.

...............................

  I was effectively out of commission, completely unresponsive to anyone and anything. I didn't eat, drink, barely moved as my mind kept me prisoner in my own body. Andy told them not to bother with an IV, since I'd probably rip it out the second they left anyways. The pain I was feeling wasn't anything that I could even remember feeling when Lykon died. It's as if I'd lost a part of me and was now incapable of functioning.

 Steve was the only one that would sit with me, holding my hand as we both tried to cope with the pain in our hearts. He stood at my bedside one day in his uniform, telling me that they were going to take out the last remaining Hydra base. I followed him out , telling him I'd wait for him to come home.

  Hours had passed when Peggy and the rest had managed to make their way back, telling me that Steve was on some Hydra plane, trying to stop the Red Skull. I followed Peggy to the radio room, knowing that she'd want to hear from Steve more than anyone. We waited an hour before we finally heard from him.

  "Steve, is that you?" Peggy was relieved as his voice finally called from the radio.

  "I'm fine," his voice crackled through the static.

  "Where's Schmidt?" "He's dead." "Where's the plane?" "That's a bit harder to explain."

  The ball of dread in my stomach began to grow. "Send me your coordinates, I'll find you a landing-"

  "There's not going to be a landing," my lip started to quiver as I began to shake my head, "Schmidt's locked the navigation system and there's more than enough power to reach the East Coast."

  "I'll get Howard on the line, he'll know what to do," I could hear the desperation in Peggy's voice as she tried to deny what was happening.

  "I'm sitting on a hundred tons of explosives, hotwiring this thing's not an option," he heaved a heavy sigh, "I've got to put her in the water."

  "But you said you couldn't steer it," I could hear the tears beginning to clog her throat as I closed my eyes.

  "I can't, but I think I can crash it."

  "Steve, don't do this," her voice was growing hoarse as a tear trailed down her cheek, "We've got time, we can figure this out."

  "I already did," I could hear the resignation in his voice as he spoke, "Right now, I'm in the middle of nowhere. If I wait any longer, a lot of people are gonna die." He was silent for a beat. "Peggy, this is my choice."

  Her eyes closed as she choked down a sob. "We'll send out rescue ships, we'll find you."

  He was quiet for a moment. "Can I talk to Ash?"

  Peggy handed the radio over, her hand shaking. "Always gotta be the hero, don't you, Rogers?" I didn't bother trying to hide the fact that I was crying.

  "Someone's gotta do it," he paused for a second, "Can you do me a favor?"

  "What?" "Can you try the simple life for a bit? You've been fighting for over four thousand years, you need a break." 

  I let out a watery chuckle, "Sure thing, Captain."

  "Pass me back to Peggy."

  I handed off the radio before walking out of the room. I paid no mind to the people around me, gathering my belongings and heading for the door.

  "Not even gonna say goodbye." I turned to find the four of them looking at me.

  "Sorry," I whispered, shuffling closer to them and allowing myself to be enveloped in their arms.

  "Find your peace, Ishta," Andy whispered to me, causing me to smile.

  "Sure thing, Mach."