American Demons

Memoirs of a Flail

From the Memoirs of a Flail: "When we set out from San Miguel on September 21, 1531, only the fools on the train believed that our prospects were good. We had three cannons. How could we use this to wage war against tens of thousands? The Highlanders were tough. They were also not very squeamish among themselves.  

I rode as Pizarro's wingman next to his steed's dung trail. Atahualpa intercepted us in a high valley that he had made into a palatinate. Pizarro tried to scare Atahualpa with his horse, but the Inca remained calm. The God-king promptly had everyone who showed concern strangled. Pizarro first pulled off the obligatory conversion number. For this he kept the Dominican Vicente de Valverde in his entourage."

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Valverde is naturally cloudy to the point of being muddy. He stands in front of the almighty and makes the sign of the cross.

Atahualpa asks indignantly: "What's this shit?"

Valverde advises him to renounce idolatry. The interpreter mumbles the translation into the dust. She lies flat in front of the Inca and doesn't dare raise her head.

Valverde gives the missionary with the crowbar. He irritates Atahualpa, so that the Inca quickly has a hundred people killed again. He wants to know how the show of force is received by the costume clown. Pizarro is on the verge of a seizure; the negotiations are proceeding far too slowly for him. It is oppressively hot, the many people are steaming heavily... Valverde hands Atahualpa a Bible.

The Inca holds the book to his ear and shakes it expectantly. The book doesn't do anything. Valverde demands that Atahualpa recognize the Christian God. Atahualpa compares Valverde's god to the sun. The sun shines more impressively. Atahualpa contemptuously throws the Bible to the ground.

"The thing is dumb," he says. Perhaps this is a mistranslation and Atahualpa is actually saying: "The thing is dumb."

Now the stove is out, the pagan has insulted the Holy Father. Pizarro gives the signal to attack by touching his nose, like Bruce Lee later. 

Pizarro grabs Atahualpa.

"The arrested man showed calm," writes Bruno. "Our horsemen pursued the fugitives until night no longer permitted pursuit. Two thousand were dead, but none of us were among the dead."