Positive Thinking by: Amit Abraham

Your Self-Esteem

"What matters today is not the difference between those who believe and those who do not believe, but the difference between those who care and those who do not"

We can move towards self-actualisation only when our need for self-esteem is fulfilled. How are we to know if our need for self-esteem is fulfilled? We will have to pass through a measure for the same. We will have to find out if we have a high or low self-esteem.
Assessing your self-esteem level
The measure below is designed by the author to approximately measure your level of self-esteem.
Respond in the positive or negative with full truthfulness to the statements given.
1. Most of the time I am mentally happy. Yes/No
2. I seldom have health problems, such as ulcers.
Yes/No
3. I sleep well during the nights. Yes/No
4. I do not generally succumb to group pressure for the sake of conformity. Yes/No
5. I can handle difficult situations without the use of stimulants. Yes/No
6. I do not consume sedatives. Yes/No
7. I take up difficult tasks and see them successfully through. Yes/No
8. I have a happy go lucky attitude. Yes/No
9. I do not have many good things to say about myself. Yes/No
10. Most of the time some problem or the other is bothering me. Yes/No
11. I suffer from pangs of depression. Yes/No
12. I have a high level of anxiety. Yes/No
13. Leasily go along with the group decisions even if I do not agree with them. Yes/No
14. At times I feel very insecure. Yes/No
15. I indulge in self-persecution. Yes/No
16. I feel most of the people do not like me. Yes/No

After you have marked your responses give 1 point each to Yes answer for questions 1-8 and 1 point each to No answer for questions 9-16. Then add the total. If you have scored between 0-4 you have a very low self-esteem. If your score is between 5-10 you are average on self-esteem and if your score is between 11-16 you have a high self-esteem.
Implications - review yourself
If you have scored high on self-esteem do not just move ahead to self-actualisation. If you are low on self-esteem do not worry. Actually, most people see themselves as better than average. This is true for nearly any subjective and socially desirable dimension. All of us have inferiority complexes and those who seem not to have such a complex are only pretending. We remember and justify our past actions in self-enhancing ways. We exhibit an inflated confidence in the accuracy of our beliefs and judgments. We overestimate how desirably we would act in situations where most people behave less than admirably. We are quicker to believe flattering descriptions of ourselves than unflattering ones, and we are impressed with psychological tests that make us look good. We shore up our self-image by overestimating how much others support our opinions and share our foibles by underestimating the commonality of our strengths.
Moreover, pride often leads to a fall. Self-serving perceptions underlie conflicts ranging from blaming others for marital discord to self-promoting ethnic snobbery. The fact is that all of us sometimes, and some of us most of the time, do feel inferior - especially when we compare ourselves with those who are a step or two higher on the ladder of status, grades, looks, income or agility. The deeper and more frequently we have such feelings, the more unhappy, even depressed, we are.
But for most people - 98 per cent, who at anytime are not suffering depression, thinking has a natural positive bias.
Self-affirming thinking is generally adaptive. To a point even our positive illusions are beneficial. They maintain our self-confidence, protect against anxiety and depression, and sustain our senses of well-being.
Humans function best with modest self-enhancing illusions. It is rightly said - "Life is the art of being well-deceived."

To enhance our self-esteem we have to make an effort to think positively about ourselves. We have to believe that we have it in us. We have to groom ourselves to standards of excellence. People are not born great. If greatness is thrust upon people they still have to prove their capability. We all have to achieve this greatness. This greatness comes from within and it is the most powerful source. The potentials are there and they just need to be unfurled. So go ahead and tap it. It is all in you and all yours.