When the morning dawned it was surprisingly bright and Becky was awakened by a particularly sharp ray of sunlight piercing her dark eyes behind their lids. The sudden realisation that she had an exam awaiting her made her jump out of bed in haste, only to pause when she suddenly felt undeniably naked and turned around to glance at her empty bed. Was it a dream?
Freen was predictable in her fickle behaviour and comprised such a beautiful paradox in her own right. Becky had not been completely surprised when she found the woman having pulled her normal disappearing act the morning after a steamy night. However, she did hope. She knew she shouldn't have and that hope was a precious thing always inevitably wasted on Freen, but she was helpless to not let hope string her along and tug on her heartstrings time after time.
Her thoughts drifted between the facts she had studied and the goddess that drove her obsessions as she walked out of her exam later that afternoon, unable to shake the aching feeling of loss and yearning that burdened her. She could not deny that it had been an incredible night and that the lack of sleep and study time had been well worth it. But she also simultaneously hated that fact. She didn't want to want Freen, didn't want to need her, didn't want to be so haunted by her. She didn't want to open herself to the emotions Freen fed her because, as the stormy eyed woman had yet again proven that morning, she would just turn and disappear once she had had her fix, leaving Becky feeling utterly empty and alone.
Her book bag hit the floor of the train with a thud as she dropped it next to her seat, then slumped down onto the uncomfortable bench with her head automatically coming to rest in her hands. It had been a long day and there was a merciless headache creeping up on the small brunette that she hoped would hold back on killing her at least until she got home. Her sleepy eyes lost their gaze in random space, but a distinct scent filled her nostrils and yanked her mind back into focus soon enough at recognising the almost ethereal presence of someone she knew. Lifting her head to study the faces of the other people in her subway car, she could soon feel sharp pains shooting through her chest as she met the glinting gaze of her lover.
Freen was seated a few feet away and watching Becky with a satisfied little smile on her lips and Becky soon realised that Freen must have been following her around. She couldn't understand why and found herself surprised by the raven haired beauty for a change. It was that pleasant surprise that renewed her sense of hope yet once again as she continued to stare silently at the object of her affection. She couldn't deny it; the woman made her stomach churn with excitement.
The whole ride was filled with silence between the two as they remained seated apart, communicating wordlessly with their eyes. There were no threats, no challenges, no glaring hatred nor hateful desire. Just simple acknowledgement of the other's existence; and it was enough. The late afternoon sun slowly turned to dusk and darkened as their ride came to an end at Becky's stop, which would double as Freen's stop for the evening as well. Becky stood and slung her bag over her shoulder, then turned to observe Freen who had silently approached the younger woman and was waiting for her to take the lead onto the platform.
The few blocks' trip to Becky's apartment was further spent in their quiet manner, with one small exception. Some steps down the first street had seen Freen slip her hand into Becky's and maintain the hold tenderly, which Becky contently reciprocated as she intertwined their fingers and they continued on their journey. The cool evening air surrounding them seemed sweet and innocent about them. Things were simple. Things just felt right.
"I don't want to run anymore." Freen spoke softly once they reached Becky's front door, turning to face her young love and refusing to let go of her hand. She lifted Becky's fingers to her lips and pressed and gentle kiss to them, then let go of a soft sigh that sent cool air cascading over the younger woman's skin. "All I do is run in circles and I always end up here - at your door. I can no longer see the point in running when I always run to you in the end." She mustered a hopeful smile as she watched Becky with an expectant glimmer in her eyes.
"I always hope for this, Freen. How do I know that this time it won't be in vain?" Becky frowned, the look captured in her own eyes bespeaking her confusion and her fear. She was well aware of the fact that they needed each other; that they will always need each other. But she had to wonder whether the need will overcome the obstinate will.
Freen's reasoning was simple, and she gave it with a smile: "Because you're the reason... Everything I do, everything I don't do, everything I achieve and everything I mess up - it's all because of you in some way. The only way I can survive is to live in harmony with my love for you. And I want to do that. You've reminded me how to live, and I fear that without you I will die..."
Becky summoned as much courage as she could manage and pushed her fears aside. She could not worry about Freen's obstinate will if she planned on submitting to her own. She would not be a hypocrite, and she would not live in regret. Besides, what was one more attempt at happiness when you were bound to someone for life no matter what? There was no choice, just acceptance.
"I love you. Don't make me regret it..." Becky sighed and smiled up at her goddess. Her goddess. She couldn't help but be proud of that fact. Silence further ushered them into the apartment, and the door closed on a troubled past, only to open up to a new beginning.
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That's the end of that one. I rediscovered my enjoyment of writing fics based on songs. The songs help guide my story and the flow thereof, so I quite enjoy doing it. This fic was based on "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails, should you want to give it a listen. I have just started with "Poison", my next song fic. It should be a fun one.
For those of you who are still not up to speed - hi, my name is Wolfie! I'm pretty friendly and like to interact with my readers. I have a whole bunch of Freenbecky fics in my repertoire that you can find in my profile. Most are fully finished fics, except for "City of Angels Book 2", as well as "No Strings Attached", which I'm still fully committed to finishing. Then, as I've said, I just started working on "Poison"
So please give my profile a visit and grab a fic to read, and holler at me if you feel like it!
Happy exploring, my lovelies!
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Past to Present
FanfictionFreen and Becky have come a long way since they first formed their bond and eventually their relationship. Things had changed and their relationship had shattered... but maybe not forever. (Alternative version of the usual FB)
