Im not going to school today because I was throwing up All last night and didn't sleep I'm glad I stayed home for once I had to get up so I could watch my sister do her laundry
I wanna snap her head all the time she's so annoying and stupid she didn't know how to work the washer even though I have showed it to her all the time I walk off after I yelled at her I sit on the couch trying to sleep but my sister was crying I told her to shut up and she screamed at me
I walk off and started watching the tv it pissed me off about how stupid she was I want to kill her so bad but I don't want to kill because my parents and everyone would hate me man I hate myself too why am I like this
Why do I always want to kill someone it's so annoying I hate myself so bad I looked at myself in the mirror hating every bit of me I look at my knifes wondering if I should... I don't wanna get yelled at again I thought to myself as I placed the knife back I grabbed a pencil sharpener and took the blade out I cut myself repeatedly I cried not because the pain but because I couldn't kill myself because people would care and wonder why I was being selfish if I killed myself so I decided not to kill myself because I already have guilt there's no reason I was cutting I just was...
I go to the bathroom to wash my face because I have really bad acne it's all over me I hate it I go back to my room and sat there listening to music it calmed me down but I fell asleep I hate my voice I don't listen to what I say but when I do I sound stupid.
Later I wake up and climb a tree in my yard and I sit at the top and listen to music I fell asleep again I hear I car come home I jumped down and ran inside and hid in my room my parents were arguing again I didn't care to listen to what this time I heard my name a few times while they were arguing like usual...
I didn't eat again today I guess I forgot to hmm sometimes I think I'm to annoying I want to die am I being selfish??
While I'm the tree I looked down and wondered if I should fall on purpose I am on a dead tree anyways it could easily break and I was at the top
