✾ The Sadness of Those With Wings ✾

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Akiko, Mori, and Elise board the first ship back to the mainland.

'I have never once heard her talk of her family, or even seen a photo of them. They were eager for her to come to the battlefield . . . Do they want her back? Does she truly want to return to them?'

"Akiko-chan . . . may I call you that?'' He's trying to be gentle as Fukuawa suggested.

"Yeah." The girl can't hide the tremble in her voice.

"Do you truly wish to return to your family?"

"W-What!? Of course!" but her eyes are full of fear.

"Then tell me, what do you miss about them?"

"I-I . . . my mother's cooking, it was delicious! And my room was cosy and warm!"

"Hmm, all material things. Is there anything else?"

"Why are you asking me all this? I just want to go home!"

"I am asking because I want to know that you're alright."

Akiko sighs, "I just want to go home . . . but I'm not sure if I can." she says quietly.

"Why ever not?"

"My family said that because of my ability, I owed it to my country to serve in the war, that my potential would be wasted on anything else. They said when we won I would bring honour to my family and my country. They wanted a hero and all they got was a demon. I failed and we had to surrender, because I'm no hero at all. I broke those men and their brokenness and inability to fight anymore is why we lost. Why would they want me back?"

'Because you're their daughter, their child, a young person for them to love and cherish.' Mori thinks, but he's known the bitter truth since he was Akiko's age.

Mori thinks over the girl's words, patting her shoulder, "The loss of the war had nothing to do with you, Akiko-chan. I see now that we were losing long before you ever stepped in. I think I knew and simply did not want to believe, that is my error. You tried your best to help a losing fight in the only way you're able. There's only so much the human soul can bear. The world isn't ready for your ability, the human mind isn't strong enough. That applies to all of us."

"Well if that's true . . . then I shouldn't exist. I'm made to break people, to curse them toward extended lives of pain and suffering, to destroy them and put them back together as a cracked and wrapped version of themselves. I shouldn't be here, I should just die like all those soldiers!" she sobs.

"Don't say that, you were used. I used you, it isn't your fault." Mori says, trying to calm the upset girl.

"It is my fault. You gave me a choice, I could've left but I didn't. It's my fault for existing, and yet, I don't want to die, is that selfish of me? But I don't know what else to do, everywhere I go people will just try to use me, to see my worth in my skill that only hurts everyone around me. I will cause chaos and pain anywhere I am! At least you gave me a purpose, what if someone bad wants me? What do I do, Mori-san?"

'She's thought deeply about this. I owe it to her to give her as best an answer as I can.'

"How about, you go to your family, and if they cast you out, then you can stay with me and Elise."

The fear grows in Akiko's eyes. "I was working in that candy shop to make money so I could run away."

"Maybe so, but it's far better to face your fears and know what they truly think than to spend the rest of your life wondering and regretting."

-

The Yosano family residence is a simple one. Mori waits in the taxi cab at the end of the driveway while Akiko goes up and knocks on the door.

After three knocks her mother answers.

When she sees Akiko her face falls.

"Ah, the failure."

Akiko wants to run then but she plants her feet and stays right where she is. This is her home too.

"Mum. I'm home. I'm sorry. It wasn't my–"

She's met with a sudden slap, a ring dragging over her cheek.

"How dare you stand there and say it wasn't your fault! You're the reason all those soldiers are dead. We thought you were useful, but you fooled us all. Our neighbours had a son who didn't come home because of you and your monstrous ability. He killed himself all because of you, you monster! God gifted you with one purpose in life, to save our nation and you were too weak to even do that. Instead you had to go and mess up everything. You are no daughter of mine! Don't you dare darken my doorstep again, foul evil demon!"

The door slams in her face. She falls to her knees.

"I-I-I'm . . . sorry, so, so, so sorry."

But she isn't alone, not anymore. Mori stands behind her, helping her to her feet, offering her the rabbit plushie.

"Your mother is wrong. You can have any purpose you like, Akiko-chan."

"I DON'T WANT TO USE MY ABILITY EVER AGAIN!"

"Then you won't have to. Come with me, I'll take you somewhere you won't need to use your ability at all. You can do whatever you like, go back to school, work in a candy shop or do something else entirely. I'll help you get wherever you want."

"Really?"

"Of course, but may I offer you one more thing?"

She nods.

"I see your aptitude for saving, and that guilt you feel for their deaths, I see that too. There is a way you can try to make up for all of that, a way your emptiness can be fulfilled. A way that may not work for you, but works plenty fine for me. . . . Become a doctor."

She steps back, gasping. "N-no, I just said-"

"I don't mean using your ability, saving can mean many things. Saving a life is such a great pressure to put on an adult, much less a child. Sometimes smaller things mean more to people at the moment. If you have an interest in actual medicine, in saving people the traditional way, then I can teach you how to be a surgeon."

And it's like a door has been opened, light spilling through into the dark featureless room her life has been so far, warming her soul. She hugs the plush.

"Okay. I'll come with you."

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