Day 4- Nightmares

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Every night the dreams seemed to become more real. Luckily, Adam isn't alone for this one.


~~~~~

He'd been here before.

He opened his eyes, and he was still in that bathroom. Sometimes it was different, the location of certain objects being placed for instance. But there was still the same shit, piss, blood, and gore, and now his new roommate: Zep's corpse. Fan-fucking-tastic.

He had lost his voice, cracked and hoarse from screaming for hours on end. Now he could add 'sore throat' to the list of shitty things that had happened to him. Unfortunately for Adam, that was the least of his concerns.

He had desperately wanted to believe Lawrence would burst in any second now, like some fucking knight in shining armor to rescue him. Sure, it would be humiliating and slightly degrading, but at least he would be out of this hellhole. But he wasn't the type to sit around and wait. He wanted his freedom now. And he didn't exactly trust Lawrence enough to be optimistic about his return.

He knew how this played out. He would lie there until he inevitably died from infection or dehydration, depending on whatever his mind was in the mood for. Sometimes it shook things up and made a random pigface smash his head against the glass. But Adam was smarter now, wiser. He would escape on his own terms.

He fought through the pain in his shoulder, ignored his exhaustion and the hunger rumbling in his belly like an enraged lion. He ignored it as best as he possibly could. But it wasn't enough. No matter how much he pulled, kicked, screamed at the chain bound to his ankle, it stayed firmly in place. If he was so familiar with this place, why couldn't he find a way out? Was he cursed to keep fighting forever? To play Jigsaw's cruel, twisted game, and die over and over and over again?

Lawrence wasn't coming back. Why would he? Adam was just some pathetic, depressed loser with no ambition of his own. He had no family, no real friends. If he died, no one would mourn him.

He wasted his own life, wishing he were dead only to experience it in the worst possible way. If he wasn't so tired, he would be pissed, his blood boiling from being tossed aside. He was never meant to survive. He was only a pawn, a player in Lawrence's game. He didn't matter.

Adam balled his fists together until the knuckles were white, forcing himself to muffle his sobs. It was hopeless. There was once a way out, but he blew it. That must be it. No matter how much time spent waiting, or fighting...it wasn't enough. He wasn't enough.

But as he was about to curl into the floor, he heard it. The buzz of a recording in his ears, much louder than the water dripping from the sink. Then a shrill giggle, followed by the blank stare of a masked puppet with red cheeks. It wheeled towards him. Laughing at him.

Adam pulled at his chain, but to no avail.

All he could now was wait until death decided to claim him at last.

Adam woke up screaming.

He still felt someone grabbing at him, pulling something over his head despite his protests. In a blind panic, he tore off his sheets suffocating him, kicking them aside until they fell to the floor. Wriggling out of the blankets was another struggle entirely as he tossed and turned, a mixture of freezing cold and drenched in sweat. He took a moment to reach and feel for the chain around his ankle.

It wasn't there anymore. At last, he felt a sigh of relief. The room around him shifted, and he was back in his bedroom. In his bed.

Then, he felt a warm touch on his shoulder. "Adam," Lawrence whispered. "You're safe, I promise."

"Th- the chain and...and there was so much blood and I---" He wasn't making any sense. "God. Fuck."

Despite his best efforts to calm himself down, Adam collapsed into Lawrence's arms, who thankfully pulled him close into a safe embrace. Sobs wracked his body, tormenting him with shame and humiliation along with fear, though he knew Lawrence didn't mind. He couldn't stand the way Lawrence looked at him, even with affection and concern.

"Jigsaw, he--" He gasped. "He was out to kill me."

"No. Jigsaw is dead."

"He was right there, he had a bag and...and...he was about to..." He couldn't place the word. Reflecting on the dream, he wasn't even sure if his attacker was a man or a woman. He didn't see a pig mask, or their face. "...M'sorry for waking you up."

He softened, keeping Adam secure in his arms. "You know you don't need to apologize."

He shook his head as he pulled away. "It's these stupid dreams, man. They won't leave me alone. And it's so fucking ridiculous, I'm a grown man, not a toddler suffering from night terrors."

Lawrence shook his head, switching the lights on. "That's not how trauma works. And nightmares happen no matter how old you are."

"Still, I wish I'd get over it already."

"Would talking about it make you feel better?"

"No. No way you're gonna be my shrink at three in the morning." He rested his head against his pillow. "But I guess if it'll help? I keep...going back to that place. But you never came back for me. I'm left alone and..."

Lawrence's eyes went wide as he listened carefully, though the rest of his expression was unreadable.

"And I die there." His heart plummeted in despair at the thought of still being trapped and alone. Stuck, reaching out for someone who wasn't coming back.

"I'd never leave you." Lawrence finally said, his voice soft, yet firm. "I'd rather die myself than leave you there alone."

Adam lifted his head, resting against Lawrence's shoulder. "I hated being there. Not knowing if you would come back."

"I know, and I still curse myself for not coming sooner." He admitted.

"Stop that. You had no choice."

"Everyone has a choice." He replied, quiet. "Yes I had to save Diana and Alison, make sure they were alright...but I also could have found a way to come back sooner."

Adam shrugged. "Either way I'd still be traumatized. I would be fucked regardless." He bit his lip, hesitating. "I'm glad that you came back for me though when you did."

"Oh Adam." He sighed, squeezing his side tighter.

"Don't tell anyone I said that!" He hissed. "It's not like, I ...mean I could have saved myself with my kickass moves and all. You just sped up the process."

Lawrence raised an eyebrow, amused. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, I could have broken my foot and knocked the chain off. But you did help a little."

"Mm." He smiled, lifting Adam's chin. "I told you I'd come back. And I'll be here for you. That's a promise I swear I intend to keep."

"Lawrence...?" Adam said, ignoring his trembling hands, and instead focused on staring at his lap. "You can say no, but I was wondering if you could...ugh." Even thinking about asking it made him feel like a shithead.

But Lawrence didn't scoff at him. He didn't ridicule him like anyone else would have. He stared at him with all the care in the world. "Yes?"

"I dunno why this is so hard to ask."

"Just say what you want to say. I promise I won't judge."

Adam took a deep breath, before mumbling, "Can you stay awake with me? Please."

"You don't have to ask." He lightly kissed Adam's knuckle. "Of course I will, dear heart."

Though the dreams had yet to fade, he trusted Lawrence in his arms. They would protect each other at all costs.

Soon enough, he managed to drift back to sleep, and this time, didn't dream of anything.



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