Friend Zone

Chapter 15 : Broken?

Sung's pov....

Even though that night we brutally lashed out at each other with sentences that could send shivers down our spines, I was made of steel, and so was Kao. People with loose lips like him wouldn’t hold a grudge for long. Therefore, everything between us appeared to be resolved, even though we both knew that things could never be the same between us. Still, we did our best to keep it afloat.

However, I was still uncertain if my approach was the best or the worst.

'Let’s fuck.'

'What the fuck is wrong with you?'

My advances, which have been denied lately, regardless of how sexually active Kao is, may seem to him like I’m being a creep, but… I admit it. I have become addicted to our sex. I have become addicted to having him next to me. I will shamelessly admit that anything that pushes the line makes it harder for me to pull back.

I don't know what the hell I'm doing, either. My friend-with-benefits relationship with Kao is getting worse every day. We used to have great sex, but suddenly, he's been pulling away. Sometimes, he looks at me like he's trying to figure something out. I'm not sure if it's something I did or if he just sensed something was up.

Admittedly, I was like an idiot who did not know how to keep Kao around. Due to the friendship between us, I could not find any other activity to do during the break or draw him near me. Or if I chose to confess, of course everything would end, even the friendship.

But only the sex had changed. In everything else, Kao was still the same good man who cared about the people around him, the Kao that everyone loved. But I had never seen him look at me as more than a friend...

I sat against the headboard in the late morning hours of a holiday, one hand tangling itself into the silky black hair of the man still asleep beside me. I traced the handsome angles of a face I'd spent hours memorizing, my favourite face, really. Perhaps this was when I looked at him the most freely, when he was sleeping, when he couldn't notice.

For many nights, I had spent the most part of the time on the shop. All we had done was sleep together without engaging in any sexual intercourse. Every time that I took the lead, Kao would always back off and claim that he was tired, even though his arousal was much greater than mine.

Everything's clear. Kao must be suspecting my feelings toward him, and if my guess is correct, he must be trying to distance himself from a deeper relationship to get both of us to go back to where we were, just close friends.

And what about me? What choice do I have? This feeling is something that I can not take back, but even if I want to move forward, Kao has built a wall so high that I can not cross it. Now, what I can only do is to stand still or…to listen to all of it, all these feelings, and our relationship.

"What’s up? I’ve noticed that you seem stressed lately. Is it work related?" I broke away my gaze from the glass of liquor that was almost empty. Only the bottom of the glass was left when it was grabbed and refilled by Kao.

The shop was quiet, lit only by small, dim lights. At the bar, Prem had just left the shop less than five minutes ago, making me the only one left watching over the counter with Kao, who had just finished balancing the shop’s earnings.

My close friend sat down next to me. There was another glass that told me that he was going to sit with me and drink at this peaceful time with those eyes that were waiting for the answer to a mindful question just now.

"Yeah," I told him, going with the flow because I didn't want to tell him that the real reason I was like this was because of my relationship with him.

"You don't have to come to the shop. Find some time to relax. I'll take care of it. Tee and Prem are helping me."