stars and terrain (zayn malik)

Chapter 69

I missed Zayn a lot the night before my photo shoot. So much so that I contemplate cancelling it because I don't want him to be mad at me and I just wish he'd come home and stay with me in this house forever.

But it also might be because I'm highly emotional and I've been drinking green juices Harry has been sweetly fixing me every four hours and I want to chew real food so badly that I can't think straight.

Harry and I take our "dinner" of green juice (because Harry is so nice he's doing the juice fast with me so as to not torture me by eating real food in front of me, even though I assure him I would not be jealous of his weird salads) to the beach to distract myself from the fact that I haven't used a fork in forty-eight hours.

"What's the first thing we're eating tomorrow?" Harry asks, when I finish the glass and whimper because I'm still hungry.

"No offense, but I am really going to need some Taco Bell. Like, I may never have needed anything more." I sigh, because right now I would venture to say I miss Taco Bell almost as much as I miss Zayn.

"All right. Then that's where we'll go. What'll you get?"

I don't know if it's a good idea to plot out my first meal because I might cry, but I indulge Harry (and my stomach) and dream up every menu item I'm planning on devouring. "Three tacos, just like, the classic, simple crunchy tacos. Fiesta potatoes. A cheesy double beef burrito. And an order of cinnamon twists. They have salads there, you know?"

Harry just smiles. "This is your dream meal, donut, not mine."

"Oh, god, a donut," I moan, falling back against the beach blanket. "Just, like, 12 more hours to go."

"D'you want me to drive you tomorrow?" Harry asks.

"Oh, no, you don't need to do that. My call time is so early..."

"Y'know I get up early."

"I know, but you don't have to. It'll be so boring there, and I'm not quite sure how long it'll go for. But thank you for offering," I smile at him brightly, despite the terrible noises coming from my stomach and watch as the sun finally tucks behind the ocean ahead of us. "I might try to get to bed early. Get this over with. Gonna call Zayn now, wanna Facetime with us?"

It hadn't been lost on me that ever since he and Zayn had at it over my shoot that he had been very obviously absent from our usual nighttime Facetime sessions. I hated to cause the rift, and was ready for this shoot to be over so we could go back to being our weird three membered friendship that spent hours on the phone each night.

"S'alright. I'm going to turn in early too." He collects the blanket as we both stand up and trudge through the sand back towards the house, and I don't push the issue before shutting myself away into my bedroom and making the call.

"I miss you." Is the first thing he says, and it sounds so vulnerable and I'm so food-deprived that I start to cry and then he spends the next seven minutes trying to cheer me up.

"I want to cut this leg short, Charlie. I'm going to. Don't need to be here another few weeks. Need to be there. With you."

"And Harry." I add, sniffling snot.

"Yeah. I just, need to be home, yeah? So don't be mad at me. I'm going to cancel it."

"You can't do that, Malik," I protest, because my rational side is starting to appear when I see the way he's so fired up and ready to skip out on shows.

"I can and I'm going to, love," he replies. "'m going to figure out a way to leave today."

"No. Don't do that," a little bit of panic starts to rise up because this isn't the plan and he can't head back here now because he doesn't know my plans for tomorrow.