tidal wave

• chapter thirteen •

TW- eating, body shaming

Bre was sat watching the ocean and all she could think about was how much she'd let Susaanah down at the funeral. It was the one thing she wanted to do and she couldn't even do it. She'd felt some sort of comfort in California being away from everyone and everything that reminded her of what had happened but being back reminded her of all the good things.

Breanna was nervous to see three people at the funeral, Laurel, Conrad and Jeremiah. She wanted it to go perfectly, and she knew any of those people could put her off.

"Belly I don't know if I'm gonna be able to do it" Bre whispered to her sister in the car. Currently, they were driving along the road trying to park the car and reality was setting in for Bre. She didn't like public speaking on a normal day let alone on a day she was already emotional and grieving.

"Just look at me the whole time, Mom is gonna flip if you back out" Belly whispered and it reminded her of the fact Laurel didn't even want her to speak to begin with.

"I got this" Bre said putting on her glasses to help her from crying. She followed behind Steven and Belly the whole way in. She didn't recognise anyone, a few people from Cousins but that's all. Until she looked at the front row and saw him. He looked tired, his hair was longer and he looked skinnier but he looked like Conrad. Her Conrad.

Laurel hugged both Belly and Steven and gave a short smile to Bre. She didn't even want to think about that as she was preparing to speak. As soon as she sat down her attention was on the back of Conrad's head, all she wanted to do was go over and hug him. She felt more distance being a few metres away from him in that room than she did when they were in different parts of the country.

"Now one of Susannah's Godchildren would like to say a few words, Breanna Conklin" The Pastor announced as everyone turned their attention to her. As Breanna made her way up to the podium she could feel her heart beating through her chest and all she wanted was to be back at Cousins playing a card game with Jere or Susannah making her a cup of tea.

When Bre made it up to the podium she unfolded her speech and her hands were so shaky she could barely hold the piece of paper.

"When we were all children Susannah used to say that the sun doesn't shine every day but we were the sun in her life. For a while, I thought she was joking or lying but as you get older you soon realise that some people in your life are like the sun" Bre said taking a breath before continuing.

"For Susannah, her children were the sun. She echoed light into all of our lives even on the darkest days. There's one memory I will always hold onto from Susannah and it was this past summer. We had all been in the ocean all day and it was one of the final days of summer before school started again and she did a last dinner where she made us all..." Bre's tears started streaming down her face at the memory and she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up to see Steven there. He also had tears in his eyes.

"I'll finish it for you" Steven whispered taking the paper and holding Bre's hand to help her.

Steven cleared his throat and looked out at everyone noticing Conrad and Jere were both in tears too. And he decided he would make this sad moment a bit brighter.

"She made us all our favourite foods from when we were kids, Bre had pizza waffles, Belly had Blueberry Muffin Waffles, Jeremiah had a fake McDonald's sandwich, Conrad had PB&J Sandwiches and Steven had french fries and Milkshakes. Most of these sound disgusting now but at the time we loved it. Susannah always found a way to put a smile on everyone's face and between May and August, she'd do anything in her power to do that. She made us all smile and laugh and she made us all be a family. One thing that she knew we all needed when she was gone. So Susannah I know you are listening Thank you, we see you shining every day and we hope we shine as bright as you" Steven said holding Bre's hand tighter knowing everything she wrote she'd written for Conrad and Jere and her siblings. Breanna was proud of Steven for helping her.