In The Rough

Chapter 1: Where It All Begins

It was the day after Trollstice. John had been with his brothers the night before so he knows they're fine, if a little shaken up. After telling them to stay home, he runs to his boyfriend's pod to check on him and his family. But when he gets there, Thistle's moms were crying and JD knows. He didn't want to believe it but he knows.

Unable to process, John runs away, back to his pod, and his brothers immediately crowd him when he gets there seeing his tear stained face. They hold him and let him cry, heartbroken sobs ripping from his chest.

"I'm so sorry, Johnny," Spruce whispers, rubbing his back.

"H-He-He's GONE!" John yells, still not wanting to believe it. He clutches Spruce close and cries into his chest.

"I'm sorry, JD," Floyd whimpers. Clay is hugging John Dory's waist and Floyd is wrapped around his legs, tears in their own eyes seeing their big brother in so much pain.

It takes a while for John Dory's sobs to slow, and then he just feels numb, silent tears still trickling down his cheeks. Spruce helps get him to his bed and lays him down.

John doesn't know how long he lays there. His heart feels shattered and his entire soul feels empty. Thistle is gone. John won't ever get to see him again. He'll never see Thistle's beautiful sapphire hair, his deep ocean eyes, or hear his laugh ever again.

A knock gets JD's attention. Knowing who it probably is, he doesn't bother looking back and hears the door open. Then a disappointed sigh. "Really Jonathan? You're better than this." Rosiepuff huffs. "You have responsibilities, young man, you can't be in here all day wallowing."

"Go away, Rosiepuff," John Dory mumbles into his pillow. He stopped calling her 'grandma' a while ago, since she started being meaner towards him.

Rosiepuff always hated John Dory, being the first kid she got stuck taking care of, and she left him to deal with things as soon as Spruce hatched. She checked on them every other day but always made John do everything.

"Don't give me that tone, boy." Rosiepuff walks over to his bed and John flinches, making her scoff. "Oh please, you big baby," she says, rolling her eyes. She goes to touch his shoulder but he jerks away.

John sits up and glares. "Go. Away." He almost growls at her as she steps back.

Rosiepuff glares back. "Fine then. Wallow in here like a child while your brothers need you. See if I care." She turns and walks out of his room, slamming the door behind her.

John curls back up under his blankets, a fresh wave of tears streaming down his face as he cries into his pillow. Now he feels immense guilt filling him. His brothers do need him, he can't stay like this forever. But it still hurts so much, he can barely function.

As John's shaking subsides, he reaches up into his hair, pulling out a blue egg. It was dark navy and had little white spots all over it and had a tuft of blue hair on top. It was beautiful.

John Dory holds the egg to his chest, running his fingers over the shell. "What am I gonna do...?" he whispers. He'd found out he had an egg about two months ago, and when he told Thistle, they'd both been so excited and happy at the idea of their own little family together. And now Thistle was gone. John couldn't do this by himself. And it's supposed to hatch soon. What is he supposed to do?

John Dory sighs, looking at the egg with sadness him his eyes, "I'm sorry, little one. I know your Papa would've loved you so much." He smiles softly. "I know I do."

"Jonathan Dorian, what the hell is that."

John startles and looks up. Rosiepuff is standing over him again, a look of shock on her face. "I-I can explain-"

She cuts him off. "Don't even bother," she says, face twisted into an angry expression. "Of course you'd be exactly like your father, you little bastard."

John flinches and looks away in shame.

"What the hell are you thinking? You're fifteen, Jonathan, what's everyone going to think? What are your brothers going to think?" Rosiepuff crosses her arms.

"I-I didn't- it was an accident-"

"I don't care." She glares at the egg and then back at him. "I don't care how or why, but I refuse to allow you to ruin this family. Either you get rid of that thing or tell them it's not yours."

John freezes. He looks back up at her in horror. "W-What?"

"Either get rid of it," she says, spitting the words, "or pretend you found it. I don't care which. Either way, I'm not taking care of it for you." She turns and goes to the door. Just before leaving, without even turning to look at John Dory, she hisses, "If you hadn't been a whore with that damn boy, this wouldn't have happened." Then she walks out, slamming the door.

John sits completely stunned. He hugs his egg to his chest and tries not to cry again. He can't get rid of it! It's his baby! How could she even suggest that?! But she also said he could just say the egg isn't his? Why should he have to do that?

John remembers the band, his brothers. Everyone knows who they are around the tree. There's no way he could tell his brothers the truth and it not get to someone else somehow. And he can't let them get caught up in his mistakes.

Fuck... John doesn't have a choice, does he? He sighs and looks at his egg. He rests his head against it. "I'm sorry, baby." He pulls away and brushes the top of the shell lightly, a tear running down his cheek as he gazes out of his window into the starry sky. "I'm sorry, Thistle. I-I can't lose them too."

Getting up slowly, he walks to his mirror and puts the egg in his hair. He parts it softly and looks at his baby, nestled in his hair and its own blue tuft stands out against his teal. It's so pretty.

John tears up. "I hope you look like him, angel," he whispers. Then he reaches up and takes it out, softly holding it to his chest.

Crawling back into bed, John doesn't sleep. He can't. Not when this is his last night as a dad. His last before he even got to start.

He lays there, his egg on his chest as he watches it. He plays with the blue hair a little, letting it curl around his finger. Even as the stars begin to fade and sunrise breaks, he watches.