i swear,
i'm only cryptic and machiavellian
cause I care.
Agent Lucy Byrne is damn good at her job. She's meticulous, she's cautious, she's stoic and she's so darn smart. But when case upon case begins to remind her more and more of a buried time...
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~🌅~ IN HEAT Season three, episode seventeen (3x17) ~👔~
HERE WAS THE DEAL: LUCY BYRNE WANTED TO START OVER. She wanted some higher being to flip a switch and take her back to day one, as a baby with no worries and no sickening memories. No sins committed, none to remember.
Marianne could be given a second chance. And, maybe this time, she'd do the right thing.
But life didn't offer anyone that grace. It simply tormented her with reminders of what couldn't be undone.
Lucy can't remember a day where she didn't feel remorse. Whether it screamed and clawed at her, or simply simmered in the back of her mind made no difference. It was always still there. Always.
She regretted shouting at Rossi almost immediately.
Really, as soon as her butt hit the cold chair of her car and she took a deep breath, she twitched in guilt. Even considering marching back up into the bullpen and begging for forgiveness. But she had no doubt she would do it again, if not something wildly similar. So it would be for nought. And, honestly, she was a tad too embarrassed to even seriously consider it.
Lucy had lost it a long time ago.
But the others—Derek, Emily, JJ, Penelope, Spencer—they didn't know that, and so she was sure they would be tiptoeing around her for days, asking what was wrong, subtly trying to get to the bottom of her rage. That would surely only rile her up again. And Lucy always had a way with bottling things up.
Now, strangely, she felt fresh, in a sense. Airier. Relieved? Maybe it came down to her acknowledging it, talking about it (or more so yelling, but. . .). Selfishly, she knew Rossi would forgive her. She knew he always would.
(She didn't wish to take advantage of it, but she felt as though her knowing it was her already doing that.)
What would Hotch say? God, she shivered as she imagined arriving to work the next day. Cheeks flushed following a stern scolding on work place professionalism.
It would be worse if he asked her what had happened.
"Teddy, you home?" She called as she entered his apartment. It was pristinely clean, as per usual. Theo was a bit of a neat freak (very Monica Geller-esque, as Lucy put it), quite the opposite of her, who was clutter and mess everywhere she stepped. They were different like that. And in a lot of things.
But opposites attract, right?
And Theo appreciated her quirks. And she appreciated him for that.
"Ah, and there she is!" Theo peeked his head out behind the door to the bathroom. A flash of skin and the flecks of water that freckled it (and not to mention the steam falling out the doorway) let her know that he had just jumped out of the shower. "Long time no see," he said teasingly, fastening the towel around his torso and stepping into the living space.
