Finding My Way

Chapter 12

Why is it that when you're trying to avoid someone, you see that person all the time? And when you really want to see someone, you never see them. All year, I've wanted to see Kaname around campus and "bump" into him. Never saw him. This past week, I've seen him all the time. It's driving me crazy—and weakening my resolve not to talk to him. I miss him, more than I'd care to admit.

Luckily, class is starting back up today so I will have other distractions. There are only so many things to keep you busy when it's only you, your dad, and your brother around. Except Zero wasn't around very much. Now that Yagari has come to campus, the Hunter's Association has been "testing" Zero and sending him on assignments. Zero told me once that he thinks it's their way of making sure he's really on the Hunter's side and not the vampire side, which I find kind of ironic. If you've ever talked to Zero you'd know he's not on the vampire side at all. Quite the contrary.

I worry about him. It troubles me that they've assigned him to go hunt down Level E's. What if he gets injured and becomes one himself after losing too much blood? What if this process of dealing with them makes him lose the humanity that he's already clinging to? I just don't know.

I know he's looking forward to Maria coming back and I am too. Hopefully, she can help keep him focused on the good things in life. Zero can be so gloomy and it's hard to keep him in good spirits.

"Yuki!" a familiar voice calls out. I spin around from my position in the courtyard and see Yori coming towards me.

"Yori! Hi!" I call, running to meet her and giving her a hug. "I missed you! How was your break?"

"It was nice, nothing too exciting this time," she replies. "How about you?" My face must have fallen because she wraps an arm around my shoulders and says, "Tell me about it." So I tell her about the incident with Kaname and how hard it has been the past week to not talk to him.

"I'm so sorry, Yuki," Yori says sincerely. "I know how much you care about him."

"Yori, I don't know what to do," I say miserably. "I haven't had anyone else to talk to about this all week. The headmaster and Zero just wouldn't understand." Yori nods sympathetically. "I think I'm in love with him, Yori." She nods again, but this time in an unsurprised way like she'd known all along. "I don't know what to do at all. I can't stand not talking to him, but I also can't talk to him if he's keeping something big from me. How can I be in a relationship—friend or otherwise—if it's based on a lie?"

Yori considers this. "I wouldn't say it's based off of a lie," she says. "Because I do think he genuinely cares for you and probably feels the same way. But it must be something really important if he's keeping it from you."

"But I can't stand it! Why won't he trust me?" I implore to no one in particular.

"I don't know, Yuki. But he is a pureblood vampire," Yori reminds me. "There is so much about vampire society we don't understand. Didn't you tell me back in January that he said he couldn't tell you the truth because the vampire society couldn't handle it?"

"Does he expect me to run off and tell the vampire society?" I counter. "Who am I going to tell?"

"Well, Hanabusa is really inquisitive. Maybe he'd find out and then tell everyone," Yori points out.

"Hey! Why would I tell everyone? I'm trustworthy!" Yori and I jump in surprise as we see Hanabusa emerge from the trees.

"Hanabusa!! Why were you listening to our conversation?" I demand. To my surprise, I see Yori redden a little. I make a mental note to ask her about that later.

Hanabusa keeps his eyes on Yori as he responds, "Relax, Disciplinary Committee. I saw you two over here, so I decided to come and say hi. I just heard the last bit about vampire society and the implication that I am a blabbermouth. Which I'm not, why would you think that, Sayori?"