Scandinavian Heartstrings, in Drop D.

Chapter 4.1 Fucking with Suits

The two guitarists had been in the studio all morning, however, after hours of bickering and almost 200 takes, Knubbler had threatened to force feed them their guitars and send the label a recording of them shitting them out. So they moved to the practice hall for the rest of the afternoon. At around 5pm, Skwisgaar's phone bleeped a text at him.

"Arrhg, I forgot about that." Skwisgaar said idly.

"Forgot what?" Toki asked flatly as he ran through the same 8 bar section for what seemed the fiftieth time, still unsure of what Skwisgaar thought he was doing wrong. He had forgotten all about his little moment at the breakfast table as Skwisgaar had been on his case all day.

"Just some party I'm meant to be at tonight. One of my endorsement deals. Shit, I don't think I can get out of this one. Fucking boring idiots. You know the head dildo asked me to invest in the company the last time?"

"Huh. Did you?" Toki asked as flatly as before.

"Nope. I fucked his wife in the bathroom, though." Skwisgaar smirked and Toki rolled his eyes. "And I'd do it again. Cute little thing, about half his age." Skwisgaar began texting back, "Come with me." He said, still texting.

"What? Really?!" Toki stopped playing, surprised Skwisgaar would share his spotlight, and with him no less.

"Yeah, I need someone to distract them. It's an open bar so get as drunk as you like. The more you throw up on these dildos the happier I'll be."

Later that night they arrived at the hotel and made their way to the VIP lounge. The room was thick with cigar smoke, brandy breath and comb overs. Skwisgaar and Toki had half-heartedly risen to the occasion by throwing on dinner jackets over their regular metal attire. All eyes clapped on Skwisgaar as he entered the room, but he would have felt more awkward if they hadn't. One of the fat, balding men in a white shirt and blue suit came straight over to greet them.

"Skwisgaar Skwigelf! Our guest of honour. Welcome, welcome!" Said Suit #1 and shook the lead guitarist's hand with both of his.

"Ja, hellos." Skwisgaar said in a failing effort to not sound like he would rather be absolutely anywhere else at that precise second.

"And who is this you've brought with you tonight?" Suit #1 asked with a cautious smile. Toki immediately hated this man.

"I ams Toki. Toki Wartooth. You mights of heards of me, I ams in dis big band called Dethklok." Toki said sardonically. Suit #1's eyes went wide and he beamed at Toki like he hadn't just insulted the famous guitarist.

"Well isn't this a treat!" He said to Toki and shook his hand just as passionately. "What an absolute pleasure to have both Dethklok guitarists here tonight. Simply marvellous! Let me get you both a drink. What will it be?"

"Vodka." They said in unison.

"Of course! The Swedish love their vodka." Suit #1 said knowingly.

"I's from Norway." Toki said, narrowing his eyes.

"Yes, them too. Norway is close to Sweden, yes?" Suit#1 said.

"Ja." Toki said sharply and crossed his arms.

"Very good then." Suit #1 ushered them to a lounge area where another few suits were waiting for them, then he turned to one of the wait staff. "Barkeep! A bottle of your finest Swedish vodka and two glasses."

Their vodka arrived and Toki downed about a quarter of a glass in two gulps as the suits talked on and on about sales figures and promotional ideas with Skwisgaar and each other. It took several minutes for Toki to decipher that the product was GuitarAid, the energy Drink for fast guitarists. This pissed Toki off almost to the point of leaving but just then a woman wearing a fitted, cream coloured cocktail dress and way too much jewellery wondered over to their table.