Looking to get exposure for your story? The Fairy Night Awards is open for all stories regardless of length or genre. Original stories and fanfics of any fandom are allowed.
Currently judging. No spots left.
What's Included:
- Fair judging
- Opportu...
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The reviews are specific but not as detailed as my main reviews because best concept is one of the mini categories.
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3rd Place
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The writing style is very fluid and makes sense. It fits the genre well and it was super fun to read. In general, the writing is solid and I didn't notice many consistent grammar errors or typos or anything of the sort, which is crucial for good presentation. Overall, I enjoyed the writing and I think it has many great moments, subtle details, and interesting moments of fresh word choice.
Just some tiny suggestions. There were some sentences where it felt like they were formatted a bit strangely, but only a handful and not enough to be a consistent problem or anything. For example, "Girls got pregnant. Kids got beat up every day, and the teachers. They were the worst part."
It's your style so please don't listen to me if you don't think this will work for your story, but when I say formatted a bit strangely, that's an example of what I was talking about. Sometimes you set up sentences to flow in a certain way, but it ends up changing directions near the end. What I mean is, the way you were setting up that paragraph made it seem like each part would get its own sentence.
So, like this: "Girls got pregnant. Kids got beat up every day. And the teachers? They were the worst part."
That's why it felt a little off to me since it felt like you were setting that up with the first sentence and the first half of the second sentence.
I'm aware that's a nitpick, hence why I'm not saying to change it or anything because it's your style and I encourage you to play around with your work and not just blindly listen to me. I still think it's something worth mentioning, but it's really not a big deal.
