The Good Cancer

Prologue

 I can't tell you how many times I've sat here before, fingers typing away in an attempt to put my story into words. I've probably tried at least ten to twenty different takes on the same thing. At first, I wanted to do more of a fictional take. I created a fictional me and made up this whole story with lots and lots of fluff. Made up events and such to fill in any gaps and make the page count longer. This fluff, however, started to become the more overarching theme and my journey with cancer was more secondary. I didn't really like this version so I tossed it out. It wasn't real enough.

Then, although I probably only wrote about three diary entries throughout my entire middle and high school years, I wanted to do a diary version. I would take those two or three entries and weave them into several made up entries. I would try to make these made up entries as real as possible and really try to reflect and thing about how I felt. Although told from more of a nonfictional stand point, this was still not real enough for me either. The diary entries wouldn't be how I actually felt in that moment. They would be as close to possible as I could remember, but a lot has changed in those seven years. It would be hard to recapture exactly how I would have worded this or that when I was in eighth grade. I finally had an idea for how to go about it in the best possibly way.

First of all, I needed to take out the fluff and stop worrying about adding random details to the story to make it longer and perhaps less boring to the readers. I needed to make it as real as possible. This time in my life, after the worst is over, I feel is the best time to actually sit down and write my story. Not only can I tell of the events and reflect on how I remember feeling in those moments, I can provide further reflection for how I feel now, seven years later, and provide more insight. Plus, my writing has improved and matured, at least I hope so, compared to when I was a teenager.

I hope that you find this book which stands before you interesting and inspiring. I hope that if you do not have cancer, that perhaps you can get an insider's perspective on what it's like to live with cancer and understand it a bit more. If you have cancer, I hope that this can provide you with some strength and hope to get through it. I have decided not to hold back in any way, shape, or form. Some of this stuff may hit you rather hard and there will be times when you may need to put the book down for a minute or two. That's cancer. That's life. That's just the nature of my story.

If I can say anything now, looking back on it all, it's that I am such a different person now. I feel stronger, as if I can take on any other challenges that face me in the future. I am closer to my friends and my family and ultimately, to God. I was never angry. I was never angry that I had been dealt this hand of cards. I knew it was just part of God's plan and I knew He wouldn't give me something that I couldn't handle. At just thirteen years old, I stood, ready to face this challenge and look it in the eyes. Failure was never an option in my mind. Sounds a bit farfetched doesn't it? That even as a thirteen year old girl I could have these thoughts. As you will find out, cancer has this crazy way of aging you beyond your years. It forces you to grow up and face reality more quickly.