Lose Control | LN4

VII.

•Ellie•

It's a new week, a new Thursday, new day at track, but this one was different. I'm not stuck on a couch in the Ferrari hospitality.

This time I was sat in an armchair in McLarens hospitality, watching as Lando and Oscar were laughing, filming some video.

I haven't talked to Charles since Monday morning when everything happened. I don't even think he would want to see me right now.

I was too zoned out and in my own thoughts to notice that they were done filming and Oscar had already left to some where else.

"Hey," Lando said softly as he came up to me. "Are you okay?"

I gave him a weak smile, "Yeah, I'm fine." I replied, not even I myself believed those words.

Lando took my hand in his and squeezed it lightly, "Don't worry, he will come around, just give it some time." He reassured me.

I wanted to believe him, but he didn't see Charles face, the look he had when he found the box, the disappointment. That's all I could see whenever I closed my eyes.

He pulled me up from the armchair, "Let's go, I don't have anything on my schedule for another half hour, we can chill in my drivers room for a while." he said as he guided me down the corridor.

As we got inside I went straight to the massage table and slumped down agains the wall. I know I shouldn't pity myself, this has all happened because of my own actions. But I wouldn't really call this pity, it's more of a I know I fucked up and now I don't know how to fix it, type of mood.

I let out a big sigh, "I know I've said it before, but I want you to know that I'm really sorry for how I acted." The guilt had started to consume me more and more for every day.

He looked up from his phone. "I know and as I've said every time, I'm not mad, sure I was in the moment when I found you, but not anymore and that's not going to change. " He walked up and sat down beside me. "Listen, I'm not saying the things you did wasn't bad, because they were. But I think I know how you feel, as I have been in a similar situation where the pressure of living up to everyones expectations, just got the best of me and I did some stupid things and I started to push myself down, thinking I was useless. Until I learned to just be myself." I just sat there listening as he talked, there was something really calming about listening to him.

"I'm sor-" I began but I got interrupted.

"Stop saying sorry all the time, when you don't really have anything to be sorry for, at least to me." he said.

"Sorry," I began again, he gave me a warning look, but I could see how his lips started to pull up into a small smile. "how am I supposed to be myself when I've been pretending for so long, I don't know who I am anymore." I said as I fiddled with the rings on my fingers.

"Hey," he said, which made me look up at him, meeting his eyes. "You are Ellie, smart, resilient, beautiful." He smiled, "It's okay to feel lost sometimes, everyone does at some point."

I didn't know what to say, I couldn't remember the last time someone had said something like that to me.

"You are," he said again, "who you choose to be, not who others expects you to be, not who you think you need to be. You are simply you, exactly the way you are supposed to be."

I felt how a few tears had started to form in my eyes as I laid my head on his shoulder. "Who knew Lando Norris, the silly, goofy F1 driver could be so poetic." I chuckled, "Thanks for saying all of these things, I think I needed to hear them."

He was just about to say something when there was a knock on the door and a second later Oscar opened it. I quickly moved from Lando and sat up straight.

"Duty calls, it's media time." he said, "hope I didn't interrupt anything." He continued.

"No worries, we are coming now." Lando smiled and got up. "Are coming with or do you want to stay here?" He asked.

"I think I will stay here for a while, if it's okay with you."

"Yeah don't worry, I will come back as soon as I'm done." He reassured me.

~•~~•~

It was almost time for the first practice session of the Miami Grand Prix weekend. And I were with Lando in the garage. I was sat in the back looking as he talked to his engineers. I looked around the garage as everyone were running around preparing the last things for the session.

When my eyes trailed back to where Lando had previously been only a few seconds ago, he was nowhere to be seen. As I scanned the garage for him, I spot him coming towards me from outside the garage.

"There is someone here who would like to talk to you." he said and as I looked behind him I spotted the red racing suit in the corner outside of the garage.

"I don't even know what to say to him, what if he still hates me, why does he want to talk to me now, can't you come with me." I rambled nervously.

He put his hands on my shoulders, shaking me slightly. "It's going to be okay, do you really think he still hates you if he is here and want to talk to you, I believe in you, you can do this, just tell him the same things you have said to me." he reassured me.

I hopped down from the bench and slowly made my way towards Charles, but not without looking back at Lando a few times as he stood there smiling giving me thumbs up.

"Hey," I said when I stopped in front of him.

He didn't say anything back, which scared me as I looked up at him, expecting to see his disappointed and angry expressions. But instead as soon as I looked up, he embraced me in a big hug.

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Hi!

I don't know how to feel about this chapter, but it's sort of a needed filler chapter. And a bit of a cliffhanger, wonder what he has to say.

Hope you like the story so far, don't forget to vote and comment, and share this to your friends.

I have TikTok if you want to cheek that out, even if I haven't been that active the last couple of days, anyway it's speedyfour there as well.

Have a lovely weekend and see you Tuesday. :)

~speedy