Lose Control | LN4

IX.

•Lando•

Race day in Miami had arrived and the nerves were starting to show. But this wasn't the usual pre-race nerves, these were different. This time the nerves I was feeling wasn't actually for the race it self, they were for the thing that would come after.

I can't believe I actually asked her on a date or dinner or whatever you would call it. I don't even know if she feels something for me, maybe she just thinks it's as friends.

But I don't want it to be just as friends, I don't want to be just friends with her, I don't think I could. Since that dinner almost two weeks ago I haven't been able to stop looking at her.

I never thought I would like her, not like this. After hearing all those thing about her from Charles. I had planned to stay as far away as possible from her and her behavior. But now that would be impossible, ever since that night when I saw her, I knew that all those things Charles had said couldn't be true, at least not without reason. She was and still is to an extent just really broken.  I saw it myself last Sunday after the race.

Now all I wanted to do was hold her tight and tell her that everything would be okay.

"And what are you daydreaming about?" A voice pulled me out of my thoughts, I look to my right and see Ellie standing there, smiling.

"I, uh, just the race." I said, stumbling over my words.

She looked up at me, "okay." She says hesitantly, "I just wanted to wish you good luck and be careful." She continued while picking up my helmet.

"Thanks and I promise." I smiled back at her, before pulling the balaclava over my head.
She handed me the helmet and I put it on. 

She reached up and gave the top of my helmet a pat, before turning around walking away and pulling a pair of headphones over her ears.

~•~~•~

•Ellie•

I was back in my room, getting ready for mine and Lando's dinner.

The race didn't end that well for him, but hopefully the dinner would cheer him up. I knew it would cheer me up.
I don't know when or how, but somewhere between the dinner with the drivers and now. It was as if something just clicked.

He made me smile when I was feeling my worst, it felt like he really listened to me, without making any assumptions. He made me feel safe whenever I was with him. Whenever we hugged I just wished he would never let me go.

If it hadn't already, I was sure that it was happening soon, I was falling for him. I just hoped that he might feel something for me too. It was probably stupid to hope, why would someone like him like someone like me, I had to many problems.

The more I thought about it, he probably only invited me out to be nice, to get me to think of other things, to keep me occupied while everyone else was out partying. To keep me from doing something stupid, again.

I had to stop overthinking it, I don't have time for this, I need to find something to wear, Lando would be here in an hour. Even if he didn't feel the same way, we could at least have fun tonight.

I walked over to my suitcases that were sprawled out on the floor, I had no clue of what to wear, the contents of my suitcases didn't help. The person I was when I packed these bags, was definitely not the same as the one I was trying to be right now.