poems, thoughts, and short stories

time is a circle

I don't know if it's just me, but recently it has felt like time is repeating itself or I'm not supposed to be here. I mean, I have always had time blindness where I don't remember what day it is or hours feel like seconds, you know, things like that, but recently it feels like I'm back in middle school; I mean, the same thing happened last year, but this time it's worse. Everything from reality not feeling right to everything being too loud and too bright, smelling being too strong, paranoia and anxiety getting worse, old urges of self-harm have come back in waves. The feeling that I am different and should be here is so strong that I have started self-isolating. I know that not everyone hates me, but I have a sick feeling in my gut that something is going to happen, something big and dark. I remember Having a dream where reality was breaking down, but everyone could control it to some extent. I know I was lucid dreaming because every time I do, I can change facts and make things happen, even if it takes so much. I still remember the looming black cloud; for some reason, I formed Cthulhu; it had blue mixed in with it. I understand if you are reading this and don't know what I am writing because my thoughts always end up being scrambled, but if you are going to take one thing from this, tell me if you also feel like something isn't right, like time isn't right