You drew stars around my scars

Chapter 24

Soon after a whole team of Doctor's and nurses came in – they tried to usher Taylor out the room but the blonde refused. Jessica was hysterical and there was no way Taylor was about to walk out and leave her again. Taylor tried to comfort her but Jessica continued to sob and beg for forgiveness. As soon as the doctor came close to her she began to thrash around. Taylor had never seen her like this – she was feral. The teen was kicking and screaming, scratching and lashing out – desperate to get everyone away from her. She attempted to get off of the bed, hoping to run away from having the procedure done but she was quickly pinned down by the team of nurses. Taylor watched helplessly as two nurses grabbed Jessica's legs, another two grabbed an arm each and a 5th nurse held Jessica's head steady - stopping her from moving away. The teen began to beg for Taylor and a nurse graciously moved over so Taylor could stand next to her, right by the girl's head.

The blonde rubbed her thumb across the girl's cheek, shushing her to try and calm her down. She watched out the corner of her eye as the Doctor approached with the tube in his hand. As soon as Jessica saw to coming towards her she continued to fight harder, but everyone had her in a tight grip. As soon as the tube hit the tip of Jessica's nose the teen tried desperately to move her head away, fighting against the nurses tight grip – she was sobbing the whole time and screeching her pleas to stop. Taylor blinked back her own tears as she watched on desperately – she had never seen such fear. The doctor continued to push the tube in slowly and Jessica gagged loudly – her arms instinctively reaching up to push the doctor away. The nurses continued to hold tight though. Taylor continued to whisper to the girl, attempting to comfort her. Jessica was wretching so hard she couldn't even talk anymore – more tears spilled down her face as the tube burned her nose and throat.

The doctor continued to push but turned his attention towards the nurse "it's not going down easily – I need a cup of water and a straw". Taylor took the nurses place, gripping Jessica's hand tightly as the doctor continued to attempt to force the tube in. Quickly the nurse returned and Jessica was instructed to sip the water as they pushed the straw. With every motion Jessica continued to gag, her face was red and her eyes were streaming. The distress was becoming too much for Taylor and just as she was about to order them to stop the Doctor finally announced "Ok, it's in – lets secure it with the tape.". All the nurses let go of Jessica as soon as the tube was secure – Taylor opened up her arms and Jessica flung herself into them, sobbing into the blonde's chest.

The doctor checked the placement then the team excused themselves – stating they would be back soon.

Taylor held the girl while she sobbed and worked on getting her to calm down. After about 15 minutes the sobs had turned to sniffles, Taylor was running her fingers through the teen's hair and humming to her lightly. Taylor felt Jessica shift slightly and watched as the teen felt the tube on her face "Don't touch it baby – put your hands down". Jessica nearly cried again but she was interrupted by the door opening. A nurse came back in equipped with a syringe filled with fluid "Alright we are giving to give you a bolus feed now. We'll do this 5 x a day to start with and we can add a feed overnight too" She added the supplement to the tube then quickly flushed it with water.

Taylor watched as the tears dripped down Jessica's cheek while the nurse was working away. As soon as it was done the nurse left them alone again and Jessica once again reached up to touch the tube, irritated by the feeling of it in her nose and throat. Taylor quickly pulled her hands down again "leave it alone buddy, I know it doesn't feel nice right now but you'll get used to it". Jessica turned to her, her eyes wide with fear and anxiety "Tay, please – get them to take it out. I get their point, I learned my lesson. I'll be good I promise – just please, get them to take it out. I want it out!" Taylor's heart broke at the vulnerability on her face and in her voice "I know buddy, but I can't do that – first of all you had your chance and you couldn't eat the breakfast. But even if I wanted to – I couldn't get them to take it out, you heard what they said – if I didn't agree they'd go through the courts and do it anyway. I am so sorry baby". The panic began to rise again as Jessica realised she was stuck like it "IT HURTS TAY!". Taylor stroked her face and kissed the side of her head "It'll be sore for a while because it's new, but it'll settle I promise."

The young girl curled into a ball "My stomach hurts too! It's horrible" Taylor rubbed her head gently "that'll be because it's not used to having food in it. Your tummy has got to stretch again – the doctor's know what they're doing though. You just have to trust them".

Jessica nodded slightly but still stayed curled up, her arms wrapped around her stomach, a pained expression on her face. Taylor sat with her, rubbing her back and telling her funny stories to try and cheer her up. After about an hour the pain lessened and Jessica sat upright again, the two of them chatted away and Taylor began to relax. Another nurse came in again with another syringe and Jessica shuffled away "they just did that!". The nurse smiled sympathetically "I know but we will be doing it every 2-3 hours, it'll be the same times as your meals and snacks were. 8.30am, 10.30am, 12.30pm, 2.30pm, 4.30pm and 6.30pm" Jessica shot up "NO! She said 5 times a day before, that's 6! I'm not having that 6 times a day, how many calories is even in that?!" The nurse didn't falter "over the day you have exactly the right amount of calories you need to get healthy again". Taylor took a deep breath as she watched the beige fluid be pushed back into the tube again, she watched as Jessica began to cry again as she could feel cold liquid travelling down the tube. She quickly realised that they were in for a long few days.

She got to work comforting the girl again – trying to pull her away from the panic spiral she was falling into. Jessica was clinging to the blonde, not wanting her to be away from her. Taylor swayed with the girl in her arms, running her hands through her hair and singing softly until she felt the girl slump in her arms – sleep overcoming her.

The young girl awoke about 30 minutes later, Taylor smiled down at her "feeling better buddy?" Jessica stretched slightly and rubbed her eyes, trying to pull herself together – she smiled and nodded at her guardian.

Just as she was about to speak again the door opened and a nurse came in "Sorry to interrupt – visiting hours are over". Jessica froze and gripped onto Taylor tightly "Can't she just stay for a bit longer? Please?" The nurse shook her head "she can come back tomorrow but for today – visiting hours are over. It's lunchtime soon.". Tears threatened to spill over again so Taylor quickly kissed her head and wiped her cheeks "I'll ring to see how you're doing later and I will be right back here tomorrow. You're going to be ok".

Jessica gripped tighter onto Taylor's arm "Please Tay, take me with you – please don't leave me!". The nurse sensed the anxiety rising again so she walked over – prying the girl's hands off the blonde. She sat with the girl as Taylor hurried out the room, feeling the crushing guilt as she listened to the cries again as she walked away.