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April 26 2005,
Papa came home from the hospital
May 13, 2005,
Papa died of a disease he was hiding, Lung Cancer.
No! Papa just hid it from me
My nanny knew it would happen but, kept quiet..
Until that happens..
. . .
Kriiiiiiiinnnnngggggg
"Ha?" I opened my eyes, my hands roared, reaching for the Becker clock near the pillow. I turned off the becker clock
Even without looking I know, it's 3am..
I shifted my body slightly from Nanae, then slowly and carefully got out of my bed area without waking Nanae who was still fall asleep.
I stood in front of mine and Nanae's bunk bed, touching my forehead to the wood of the bed frame.
Always starting the same morning, the same activities, and the same pain. Dizzy..
Aren't your eyes tired from seeing this day?
Morning with my feet as if they were chained with weights, it's very hard to lift even one toe...
I walked sluggishly, slowly, not because I didn't want to wake up again but, I really couldn't walk anymore..
Are you still able to breathe today?
I didn't count how many times I washed my face, what I felt remained the same, my eyes hurt, the ability to focus on my eyes also seemed to disappear. Are these my eyes? Why won't he follow my orders? Even from my own body, the best traitor was born.
Do you hear this sound?
"Natsuka.."
"Auntie can take care of the kitchen alone... Natsuka chan, just go back and rest, okay?" Aunt said for the umpteenth time
"Natsuka can still move, she's still alive, as long as that's there, Natsuka will still be selfish," I said with a smile and an enthusiastic tone.
"Today's menu is green beans and corn fritters, right, ma'am?" I asked in a pleasant tone
"Yes, Nanny Rengo now wants the children to eat vegetables more often, Natsuka san," said Auntie who was cutting up the green beans.
"I will help auntie make the corn bakwan, hehe... the kids will definitely like it..." I said as I headed to the refrigerator, taking the necessary ingredients.
"Usually if you force it, it makes you even more uncomfortable, hehehehe," I said with a small laugh
"Yes Natsuka san, auntie's child is proof of her life hahahaha" said auntie in a melodious tone and her laugh was more than mine
Can you move your hands smoothly?
"Nana chan, let's get up... breakfast is ready," I said while stroking her head.
Other children are easy to wake up but, unlike Nanae, she is sometimes afraid to leave the room or even get out of bed.
"Oneesan, Nanae.... I just want to die..." she said with a blank look and unstoppable tears in his eyes
"Nanae chan wants to die"
So...
Why did I let him live?
Hasn't that been the case all along?
Every activity, every movement, every step, every action...
A dining table that has been served with lots of disgusting food...
Water that is not water for you or for me..
What is this bed made of?...
Why are my clothes drying in the sun?
Tonight I dedicate it only to the little angel.. forever.. ..
How is school ?
How's your beer?
Whose eyes are these?
This is not mine
Why do I have it?
Dep dep dep
Get away from me..
And
Die for me
Keana Natsuka
Jrass
Plink
Plink
Plink
Plink
Plink
Plink
NATSUKA!!!!
YOU ARE READING
New Folder
Short Story"What makes life more enjoyable? Today is a delightful day. Tomorrow is delightful too because there are no sad days if we don't start them with sadness. I am very happy but on the other hand, I am very tired. I am very joyful but on the other hand...
