everyone has different problems in life but being a girl from a middle class family, my struggles and experiences are different. my thinking doesn't match with my family and that is the only reason for conflicts and tension in my family and for some...
Today is March 11, 2024 And today I found an hour to spend with myself My final exams of class 11th are going 7 March - Music 9th March - Hindi 11th March - Maths 13th March - Geography 15th March - Political science 18th March - English And after that , holidays till 1st of April
I am stressed a lot 25% about my exams , 5% about my family issues and 70% about my another family - MY ARTS Semester is going to be over. 18th March will be my last day of 11th class and then , I will be in 12th class. My senior or I can say my classmates of 12th Arts are going to complete their school life. I know they have enjoyed it a lot , created a lot of friends and memories, gathered a lot of knowledge and ambition to be fulfilled. I want all of them to be successful in their lives , to live their dream life , have a healthy and happy family and explore new adventures in their life but more than that I WHOLE HEARTILY WANT THEM TO STAY IN TOUCH, STAY CONNECTED. Currently, my eyes are filled with tears thinking that I won't be able to meet them everyday , motivate them when they score bad , support them when the teachers scold them , guide them in their way when they go in the wrong direction , help them to complete their syllabus , listen to them so that they feel confident , fight for them etc.
I know that life changes It's not the same every time but I never thought that this year will pass so immediately. I know very well that when they will go , a new 11th family will add in and we will be in 12th. We will have new family members and have to leave the old one. However, I want more memories with them. I am not even sure if they are attached to me or not , they want to see me or not , they care for me or not But I am damn sure that won't be able to forget me. I am feeling like I am losing one side of my heart while making another side. It's not just breaking me but also making me realise that it's not so good to get attached with everyone.
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BUT HOW CAN I STOP MYSELF FROM GETTING ATTACHED TO THEM ? * They do show a lot of care for me Not a single one but all 11 boys * They can't hear a single word against me * They fight for me even with teachers * They can't tolerate if someone's behaviour is not so good for me * They are always ready to kill or die for me * They tell me even the smallest details of their thoughts * They pay 100 % attention to me the whole day * They focus on every line I say and changes can be seen in them accordingly * They surely complete the work I say to them at any cost * They even notice my slightest sadness even when the world believes in my smile
It's a really really hard time for me. I can't even tell them about this. They might feel sad and I don't want this to happen. I don't want to share this with anyone else because I don't think that everyone can feel my current situation. As you all know my dear friends, the situation is always simple for other people but the way one is feeling is always different. Other people can only see the way one is acting but can never know how the one is feeling. Maybe this is my situation. I never felt like this before. After completing my 9th class , I changed my school. This was the first time I changed my school. Before that , I was in school where I completed my classes from nursery to 9th class. I was definitely attached a lot with school, teachers and friends. But more than leaving that school, I was feeling sad to leave Anshika there. However, I am honestly lucky 🙈 that she accompanied me to my new school and we are together in our another school. (Love you Anshika 💕) Because Anshika accompanied me to my new school, this journey was never hard for me.
At present, I can't be lucky ? Can't they accompany me for the rest of my life ? Okay , I understand that no one can accompany anyone for rest of their life , but a few months more. Please I can't bear this pain of separation. It's breaking me. Can't we share our bond anymore ? It's true that long distance never works whether in a relationship or in friendship . We don't have a defined relation , we can just be called classmates. We don't have any benefit with each other. I don't want any favour from them. It's okay if they don't care for me anymore, it's okay if they don't pay me attention anymore, it's okay if they don't inform me about their thoughts and everything else is okay. I just want them to not leave me all at once. Just a little favour more that whenever they see me in the rest of my life , simply say hii to me. It's honestly enough for me. I don't want anything more from them. AM I ASKING MORE ? I was a selfish girl who never thought ahead of her. But they changed me in positive way without even making me realise. I never realised when my conversation changed from me to us. This was only possible because of their genuine care and support. I never thought that their attachment would make me suffer at such extent. But one important thing here is that if I can go in past and get an opportunity to change , for sure , I would never change it. I will leave it unchanged because THEY MADE ME LIVE MY LIFE , GAVE A NEW VISION AND NEW EXPRESSION OF ME.
My dear friends 💖 I am feeling filled with tears. I can't share this feeling with anyone else. Please help me ...... Suggest me some ways to get out of this situation. Suggest me some ways to bear this pain , to control my emotions , to control myself from further getting attached to anyone else.....
