My Soul to Take boyxboy

Be there or be Triangle...No Square!

Scott^
~Set out with hopes and dreams
And if you're lost in the darkness, turn to
me~

"Daddy do you want a lick?" Ellie shoved her mint chocolate ice cream in my face just skimming my nose a little. I stuck my tongue out to lick it because I new she wouldn't stop asking if I'd said no.

"Mhmm" I rumbled wiping the ice cream off my own nose and onto her little button nose grinning towards her.

"Daddy!" She shrieked giggling and trying to lick it off with her tongue and pouted when she couldn't reach. I chuckled at her, she's about the only person that can get any real emotion from mean unless you count the feeling of annoyance towards Scott. I praised her for being such a brave girl at the doctors as I put her into the seat in the shopping trolley. She was getting a little big but I knew she liked it in there because she could see everything around her.

There were 101 things going through my mind while strolling through the supermarket. What I needed to get at this shopping trip, what I was going to cook for dinner, how to keep Ellie occupied this evening, rent I had to pay tomorrow, but every time my mind wandered to going out with Scott and the others later tonight. It's not that I don't want to go it's just that I have other priorities in my life and going out and getting drunk is not one of them. Although I suppose it wouldn't be a bad thing, I haven't been or done anything socially in a long time and Scott did invite that girl Isla, it would be very rude to just stand her up like that.

Ashley.

I stopped in my tracks in the middle of the bread aisle. Ashley. Since she died and Ellie was born I haven't even thought about dating another person never mind went on an actual date. It wasn't really something I had thought about in the past two and a half years, one, because I was heartbroken over Ash's death that I couldn't bring myself to think about another person, someone that wasn't Ash, in that way. Two, I devoted all my time and energy into raising Ellie to the best of my ability and I wanted nothing to stand in my way of doing that.

Maybe going out tonight wouldn't be such a bad idea. Ellie is old enough now to handle being looked after by a babysitter for a couple of hours, I mean what harm could come from it.

'Your little girl might need you'

There was a part of me that automatically felt guilty for evening thinking about leaving Ellie for a night. What if she had another dream about her mum and I'm not there to comfort her? What if she misses me? What if? What if?

"Are you okay Daddy?" She brought me out of my thoughts and I realised that I had been standing in the middle of the aisle staring into space for about 5 minutes. A woman walked by me giving me a funny look, she had a young child in the seat of her trolley too. Don't judge me, I thought to myself.

"Yeah honey I'm fine" I replied pushing along the trolley while picking up baps and muffins for breakfast tomorrow.

"Are you sure?" She asked confused "because you always do that 'thing' all the time."

"What 'thing'? I asked my daughter confused as to what she was talking about.

"The 'thing' where your eyes don't look alive and no matter what I say you don't look at me or speak to me. It scares me when you do the 'thing'" her voice lowered at the end her eyes wide.

"Oh honey, I'm sorry. I don't mean to scare you" my heart sank, here I am an emotionless robot scaring my own daughter. "I'll tell you what, the next time I do the 'thing' I give you permission to pinch me as hard as you can"

"Yeah I get to nip daddy..." She sang to herself. I continued along throughout the supermarket desperately trying to remember everything that we need. I'm too lazy to come back if I forget anything. I've got bread, milk, cheese and those little lunchable things that Ellie likes and pas-