My Soul to Take boyxboy

My Soul to Take

~The songs on the radio are okay, but my taste in music is your face.~

"Carson, will you stop pacing please? Sit down and relax? You're making us all anxious! Ashley will be fine and so will the baby, I promise," my dad tried to comfort me as I traced the blue line painted on the floor of the labour wing waiting room of the hospital with my feet over and over again. I just needed to something to do to distract myself.

I couldn't stay still. I didn't know whether they were going to make it. Everything was perfect and then all of a sudden the nurses pushed me out of the labour room and everyone rushed into action, but no one would tell me what was wrong no matter how hard I begged or pleaded. I needed to be in there, I needed to hold my girlfriends hand as she gave birth to our baby. I needed to know that they were both okay.

I sat down on the uncomfortable, grubby, plastic chair beside my mum who automatically grabbed my hand. She had been there for me and Ash the whole way through the pregnancy, from when we told her until now. Like most parents they weren't thrilled at the idea of having their 16 year old kid having a child of their own but there was nothing they could have done about it's because we were going to keep the baby whether they wanted us to or not.

It wasn't like Ash was a one night stand or anything like that, we had been going out for nearly two years. I was truly disgusted at some of the prejudices we had received, one women stopped us in the middle of the street and gave us The Lord's prayer.

"Stupid teenagers," she said, "you should have used protection! That's what it's there for! If you were my son I would have sent you on your way for getting a girl pregnant at this age, and you young lady how could you let yourself sink to this level? Stupid ejits the both of you!"

I might have said a few words to her that I am not proud of but in my defence I was trying to defend my family. We did use protection, Ash and I had made sure of it because this was exactly the situation that we didn't want to get caught in but even then it isn't 100% fool proof.

I stuck by Ash throughout the whole 9 months of her pregnancy. I wouldn't let her out of my sight. Yes I was the over protective baby daddy that didn't let their women do anything that would remotely harm them or the baby. Yes It frustrated Ash but it didn't stop me because if anything had happened to either of them I would never be able to forgive myself. I was good to her, if she needed anything I got it for her. If she had a sore back, I gave her a massage. If she had swollen ankles I rubbed them. I even bared it through her mood swings, morning sickness and cravings. I would get up at 5 am and groggily run to the store for super noodles and ketchup because I knew it would make her happy and in my sleepy haze pick up the wrong flavour and have to go back to get the right one. I wanted to make this work. We got ourselves into this situation so we had to take responsibility.

Yeah sure we are only 16 but I could see us together holding a little baby. Us being a family. It took me a long time to wrap my head around the fact that I was going to be a dad, but once I realised there was nothing I could do to rewind time or take it back I took full responsibility and accepted it. Now that I don't know what is going to happen or that this opportunity might possibly be ripped from my fingertips nearly had me in tears but I had to be strong. For myself, for Ash and for our child.

It had been 3 hours since they had chucked me out and made me, my parents and Ash's parents wait. Wait for what though? To tell us that everything was okay or to tell us that they are sorry, that they couldn't do anything to help. I had counted the tiles on the ceiling 7 times over and I ended with the same number every time. 66. It didn't calm me down though, if anything I got more agitated. Here I was sitting counting tiles when my family needed me.

"Carson Smith?," A doctor appeared from the room, with an emotionless expression. My heart sank. It didn't look good, I stood up letting him know that it was me, "I'm sorry Carson. We did everything we could but it wasn't enough. I'm so sorry."

"Why are you sorry? What's happened? Ashley?," My voice kept rising. I slowly moved towards the doctor and he moved back a little.

"Ashley didn't make it through the labour, I'm sorry," he put his hand on my shoulder as if to comfort me but it didn't do anything, I barely felt it. Everything around me slowed down. I couldn't move, I couldn't do anything. I just stood there, paralysed.

I thought about my life. What was I going do to now? How would I live without Ash, I loved that girl. We had so much together and we were only just starting out our life, starting our family. She had so much to look forward to but it has all been taken away from her. What about the baby?

My baby.

My child.

I surfaced from my paralysis. Hearing my mum trying to get my attention by lightly tapping my cheek trying to wake me up, "what about the baby, my child? Is it dead too?"

I saw something in the doctors eyes. I couldn't quite work out what it was. Was it sympathy? Pity? I couldn't work it out but he made a motion for me to follow him so I did. We walked through the door to where I saw Ash lying there. Pale and lifeless, I finally felt the tears break free from their confines. I couldn't hold it in any longer, I slowly made my way over to the side of the bed. She had been dressed again by a nurse which I was thankful for. I grabbed her hand and felt the tears fall of my face and onto the back of her hand as I brought it up to my mouth and kissed it. Almost like I was saying goodbye to her.

I was so caught up in Ash and seeing her that I barely noticed the nurse standing beside me with a little lemon bundle on blankets in her arms. I don't know how long she had been standing there but she must have wanted to give me time. I heard a whimper come form the little bundle of blankets and carefully set Ashley's hand down as if she would break. The nurse gave me a sympathetic smile and handed me what was my own flesh and blood. It's was my child. I pulled the blankets away from covering it's face.

"Is it a boy or a girl?," I croaked at the nurse, a fresh set of tears running down my face. I didn't take my eyes of my baby.

"You've got a beautiful baby girl Carson," she replied softly.

"Yeah beautiful," I said without looking up, "beautiful just like her mother"

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So yeah guys this is the first chapter :)) feedback would be great! Also tell me if you want longer chapter or shorter ones and criticism helps too as long as its constructive :))

Thanks for readingggg

Xx