INSURREZIONE

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"Insurrection"

"Are you out of your mind?" Damon shouts from his front stoop

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"Are you out of your mind?" Damon shouts from his front stoop. "I just got an earful from Teo threatening to have me fed to the sharks if I don't turn you over!" Six feet of ominous superiority glowers at me as he leisurely sips his morning brew. Per usual, his stately presence is shrouded in the ubiquitous smog that follows him wherever he goes.

However, on this particular occasion, he's accompanied by his truculent daughter, Selena, who is every bit the gloomy offspring you'd expect of Damon Thames and almost as tall. Together, they are a suffocating shadow of dread... in matching wolf slippers.

"Well, clearly he was shot in the head, Dad," Selena flatly observes, "You know that fucks with the wiring... What little he has anyway. That thing's like an Atari." Wagging her finger in a deliberate zig-zag motion she mimics a round of virtual table tennis, "Boop... Boop..." chasing her imaginary eight-bit from one point, "Boop..." to the next... "Boop..."

"Haah-kay."

"Boop..."

"You made your point, Lenny!"

...until eventually, "Buuunn," she misses.

On my left, Eden stutter-steps in hesitation, ducking behind her prized bouquet to whisper, "Not that I don't appreciate the eighties video game reference, but are you sure this is a good idea? Maybe we should have Dad-"

"We can't hide forever," I interrupt, practically dragging her up his circular drive.

"Not forever..." She agrees, "Just a few weeks." Eyeing our resident Doom and Gloom, her free arm anchors to my waist for comfort, "He makes me nervous," and mollified, I gently fold her in to kiss the top of her choppy cap.

"Trust me, baby. Next to Raphe's rig, My uncle's estate is the safest place for us to be."

"Your-" Faltering, pixie features purse with annoyance, "Hmmm..." expensive crystal awkwardly exchanges hands...

"What's happen-Ow!"

...and a flurry of dainty digits bats the defunct console in my forehead, "Why don't you tell me these things up front? Huh?"

"Hey-"

"You'd save yourself a lot of trouble, Kole Hunter."

"I'm afraid it's an occupational hazard, Ms. Elliott," our amused host rumbles into his wolf-shaped coffee mug. Probably some five finger discount Selena picked up at a local Wal-Mart. God love my cousin, but she steals the cheesiest shit. No priceless masterpieces in her Den of Antiquities. Diamonds, sure, but the rest is vinyl records, cheap trinkets, and kitschy knick-knacks. Give it an hour and she'll have a permanent place on Eden's list of besties.

"That being said," Tipping his lupine chalice in salute, Damon confesses, "I rather enjoyed the way you handled him. Next to this big idiot declaring war on his king, it's a top ten highlight of my morning. Really, I wish I'd filmed it."

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