Cassandra Halstead

OCD

Cassandras age:10
Again, this is OCD from my own experience and it shows up different for everybody, take care xx

Cassandra laid in bed as she tried to fall asleep, but she couldn't.

Her mind was saying all these crazy things she had to do but she couldn't stop or resist doing them.

She repeated the same word over and over again in her head, because if she didn't then Jay and Will would die in their sleep.

She would do anything to keep them alive, even if that meant no sleep for her.

If she would stop doing it, Jay and Will would die and it would be all her fault.

It was like this every night, but different things depending on what day it was.

Tonight she had to repeat the word safe in her head until two o'clock and then she would be able to sleep.

x

But when two o'clock rolled around, another thought barged in.

This one said that she had to check in them to see if they were breathing, so she quietly got up from her bed.

But just as her feet touched the floor, she got in her bed again before repeating the action four times.

x

When she had done that four times she was ready to go over to Jays room. She quietly opened the door and snuck in, tiptoeing over to his bed.

She quietly watched him to see if his chests rose and when she saw that it did, she walked out of his room and closed his door gently before she went to check on her other brother.

Will was breathing too because she could see his chest rising and falling gently so she decided to go back to her own room to try and get some sleep.

But as she got back to her room and hopped into her bed, she felt a creeping sensation take over.

What if they weren't actually breathing and she had just imagined their chests rising?

She had to check again.

Just like earlier, she got up from her bed before jumping back in and out four times.

She walked over to Jays bedroom first, carefully avoiding the squeaky floorboards before opening his door.

She walked over to his bed, standing closer to the bed this time so she could really make sure that he was breathing.

His chest was rising up and down slowly and Cassandra let out a breath, relieved that he was alright.

She backed out of the room slowly and carefully to avoid making any sounds so she could check on Will too.

She walked over to Will's room and did the same as she did with Jay.

She stood close to his bed, watching his chest closely to see if it was rising and falling normally. Thankfully it was and she backed out of his room and through his door slowly, careful not to wake him.

Cassandra was just about to close his door as she heard a voice.

"Cass" Jay whispered and she jumped. "What are you doing up sweetheart?" he asked and she could feel the tears starting to form in her eyes, but she tried holding them in.

"Nothing. I'm fine" she answered her brother but Jay could read her like a book and he knew she wasn't fine.

Quietly he closed Wills door before leading Cassandra over to the kitchen.