Cassandra Halstead

Emetophobia

Cassandra's age:14

Everything had been fine all week but the one day Cassandra had an important test, she had gotten sick.

With heavy shoulders she sat on the cold bathroom tiles, hunched over the toilet.

She sighed heavily as she tried to steady her rapid breathing and calm herself down.

Cassandra could feel the bile wanting to come up, but she refused to let it out. Instead she forced it down as she wiped away the beads of sweat.

Even thinking about throwing up made Cassandra's skin crawl but the fact that she could feel bile in her throat was making her panic.

x

It was still the early morning hours when Cassandra had woken up by nausea and her stomach cramping.

At first she thought that it might just be some period cramps or something, but now she wasn't so sure.

Her stomach was still clenching and the nauseous feeling was worse after several hours, not to mention the fact that she had to swallow down her own bile and she was drenched in cold sweat.

x

She didn't know for how much longer she could go without throwing up, but she was terrified to do it.

Cassandra was incredibly terrified of throwing up and everything that had to do with it, ever since she was a child.

It didn't matter how many therapists she had seen, the fear was still there. Maybe it wasn't as bad as before, but it was definitely still there.

The anxious feelings were consuming her, throwing her into the beginning stages of a panic attack to add to how bad she already felt.

But her thoughts were interrupted by a soft knock on the door and a kind voice.

"Cassie? What's going on?" Will asked gently, worried about her heavy breathing.

There was only one bathroom in the apartment and Cassandra had now occupied it for over an hour in the morning.

"Just a second!" Cassandra managed to croak out as she lifted her head up from the toilet

"Are you okay, Cass?" Will asked again, starting to get really worried.

When she didn't answer, he tried the door handle and surprisingly it was open. "Are you decent?" Will continued, wanting nothing more than to help his sister with whatever she was dealing with.

He didn't get an answer but when he started to hear gagging, he immediately opened the door and rushed over to his sister who was sitting with her head hunched over the toilet.

She wasn't throwing up yet as she managed to swallow it down again with a lot of difficulty, but her breathing was getting more erratic as the situation progressed.

Both of her brothers knew about her emetophobia and they had experienced several episodes of it, but it never got easier to watch their sister struggle when she was sick.

Will sat down beside Cassandra, pulling her hair out of her face while comfortingly rubbing circles on her back.

"Cassie, it's okay. I know it's really, really scary but you're going to feel so much better if you just let it out" Will said, his voice soothing and understanding.

Cassandra sobbed heavily a couple of times before she felt the bile come up again and this time she didn't fight it.

She let it come up, vomiting a couple of times with Will pulling her hair back while saying comforting words and rubbing her back.

When she was done, Will flushed the toilet before helping Cassandra wash her hands and mouth.

x

"How're you feeling now?" Will asked as he put a blanket over Cassandra's shaking body on the couch.

Will could feel that she had a temperature and his heart ached for his baby sister.

They had just spent twenty minutes in the bathroom as Will tried to help his terrified sister out of the panic attack she had after vomiting.

It had taken a while, but she'd calmed down enough for Will to help her over to the couch where he now gave her Tylenol and water.

"Tired" Cassandra told him and he nodded.

"It's okay if you go to sleep, I'm not going anywhere" Will told her as he took a wet washcloth and patted on her forehead, trying to cool her down.

She gave him a light smile as she let sleep take over, even with her anxiety.

She knew that Will never would let anything happen to her and that she was safe with him, even if it was really scary.